“God, Otto, just like that,” he groaned. “Just like that, baby. Feels so fucking good.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at him to find him gazing down at me with adoration. My fingers went to town fondling his ass with one hand and his balls with the other. I wanted to touch him everywhere, feel every inch of his delectable skin.
“Shit, gonna come,” he gasped as I felt his length stiffen in my mouth and his balls tighten in my hand before the hot rush of his ejaculate hit the back of my tongue. Walker’s hands held me tightly to him as he cried out and shot into me. I watched him throw his head back in relief and took the opportunity to appreciate his naked torso. After releasing his balls, I ran my hand up his stomach, over the bumps of his muscles and the wiry hair of his happy trail to his pecs to flick a nipple. He winced and pulled away with a grunt.
“Stop, asshole,” he grumbled. “Let me have my moment.”
“Your orgasm celebration moment?”
His grin was smug. “Yes. Let me wallow in it for a minute. You’re damned good at sucking dick.”
I moved to stand up, grabbing his underwear from the ground nearby and handing it to him. I had half a mind to sniff it first, but nerves about our upcoming conversation stopped me.
He put his clothes back on and reached out his hand for me. When I moved to grab up the fishing supplies I’d brought, he spoke in a quiet, serious voice.
“Leave it.”
Chapter 27
Walker
Walker,
I have to decide whether or not to re-up for another four years. This is one of those times I wish I could just call you and have my best friend back for five fucking minutes. Why did it have to be all or nothing? If you didn’t want to be my lover, couldn’t we still have been best friends? Even though I have a thousand siblings, no one knows me as well as you do.
I think in the end it comes down to this: if I can’t have you, then what the fuck does it matter? Might as well stay in and serve my country. But if I re-up this time, I’m probably looking at the whole twenty.
Wilde
(Unsent)
I could tell right away something was eating at him. It was in the way he touched me, the way he’d met my eyes while he was going down on me. I wanted to tell him that there was pretty much nothing in the world he could tell me that would cause me to stop loving him, but I stayed quiet and let Otto be the one to speak.
We kicked off our shoes and sat side by side on the end of the dock the way we had a thousand times before. I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips before threading our fingers together and placing our joined hands in my lap.
“I want to tell you what happened on the boat,” he said.
“Okay.” Even though I’d heard some of it, I wanted to hear his version. There was no telling if what I’d heard was accurate.
“First of all, I joined up because Saint was doing it. You know he always wanted to be a navy SEAL. So, stupid me decided I’d go be one too.”
He took a breath and looked out over the lake toward the setting sun before continuing.
“But that shit was hard,” he said with a chuckle. “And I washed out pretty quickly. Saint made it, of course. He wanted it way more than I did anyway. But when I was faced with what to choose instead, I tried to make up for my failure in BUD/S by choosing something else challenging and specialized. Submariner. Which, again, was stupid.”
He ran his free hand over his short hair and turned to me with a sheepish grin. “I was fucking nineteen years old, you know? I was an idiot.”
“Why subs? You were claustrophobic, for god’s sake,” I reminded him.
“I thought by then I was over it. All that stuff about me being terrified of small spaces happened when I was little. Plus, I was able to pass the psych evals and figured that meant I was fine.”
“And were you? Fine, I mean?”
I watched Otto closely to read the truth on his face and in his body language. He shook his head.
“No. I wasn’t fine. I mean… I was fine at first. It was a challenge, but I got used to the confined spaces. That part didn’t bother me as much as things you don’t realize like not being able to get away from jerks you serve with or not being able to feel the sun on your skin or a breeze of fresh air. But I enjoyed the work. I appreciated being well trained and cross-trained the way submariners are. And after this one experience we had where we had to rescue a SEAL team on a botched mission, I realized how critical our service was. By the time we extracted this SEAL team, they were in rough shape. We’d been the closest US military personnel to them and when we brought them on board, you’d have thought we were the ones who were the heroes. I really think they figured they were dead out there.”