We were both heaving with irregular breaths and trying to suck in each other as much as the air around us. The scent of sex and sweat permeated the air and the feel of our damp skin against each other was heaven on earth.
The kiss couldn’t last. We were both too winded to keep at it. I stayed inside of his body and pulled him into my arms as I fell to the side to avoid squashing him.
His hand roamed up and down my chest. “That was better than I remembered.”
“Same here.”
“Your dick is bigger.”
“Nah, your ass is tighter.”
We both began laughing at the blatant lies, and I quickly slipped out of his body. I kept him close to me though and intertwined our legs together.
“I have an ass full of hot, sticky cum now,” he said with a squicked-out look on his face. “I feel debauched.”
I ran a hand through his damp hair, leaving it sticking up in short spikes. “You look debauched. It’s fucking hot.”
Worry suddenly creased Walker’s forehead, and I reached out to smooth the lines. “What is it?”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“How do you mean?”
“What if we’ve grown apart in ways we don’t know about yet? What if when you get to know me again, you don’t like who I’ve become?”
I saw the genuine fear in his eyes. “I’ve had that worry too, but ultimately I guess the answer is, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. When I saw you directing the scene last night and helping get that kid out as fast as possible, I fell back in love with you even more. When you showed up at the bunkhouse exhausted and heartsick for those families, I knew you had the same heart you’ve always had. And when I saw you with Tisha that day I was on Gulliver…” I blew out a breath. “Seth… you’re smart, capable, sweet, and loving. You’re responsible and dedicated, loyal and committed. How the hell could the crux of what I’ve always loved about you be so different that I wouldn’t want to build a life with you anymore?”
He nodded and leaned in to tuck his face against my chest. His arm came around my back to squeeze me in a hug.
“I’m so damned lucky you’re here. I never thought I’d be so lucky.”
We lay in comfortable silence for a little while before he pulled back and looked at me again. “Why are you here, Otto?”
“What—”
He cut me off before I could ask what he meant by that.
“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play dumb. Why did you leave the navy early?”
I felt my stomach twist with familiar nerves. “It’s a long story.”
“We have time.”
I looked around as if my old bedroom held some kind of excuse not to tell the story I wasn’t quite ready to tell. I saw a framed picture of me on Gulliver and Saint on a horse named Quicksand. I looked back at Walker.
“We need to go get ready for Tisha’s visit.”
Seth barked out a laugh so sudden, I jumped.
“You are so fucking predictable,” he said. “You seriously just used a child as an excuse?”
I felt my chin jut out in juvenile defiance. “It’s true though. We have to go get ready. Lord only knows what time it is, and we promised her.”
Seth pulled away from me, putting a palm on my chest. “Okay, Wilde Man. I’m going to let you stall on this conversation exactly once. But then we’re going to talk about it. We’re not moving forward without being totally honest with each other. Agreed?”
I nodded and tried to shoot him a look of gratitude. “Agreed.”
As we made our way to the nearest bathroom to clean up, I wondered if Seth Walker would be quite so in love with me when he learned what a goddamned coward I really was.
Chapter 17
Walker
Walker,
I hate submarines.
No really, I fucking HATE submarines.
Otto
(Unsent)
I wasn’t stupid. I knew whatever had caused Otto and Saint to leave the navy was something serious. On the drive to Amarillo earlier that week, Doc and Grandpa had implied they thought Saint left because Otto was getting out. Even they didn’t know the reason yet and seemed to think maybe I did.
I didn’t.
And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear it. Whatever it was seemed to be haunting him a little. Not enough to dampen his smile or make him seem like a different person, but enough to put shadows in his eyes. I wondered if, when it came down to it, I’d have to push him to get him to tell me. I didn’t want things to be like that between us, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure I would be okay with him holding back such an important part of himself.
I tried not to think about it as I made my way home to change and get Tisha ready for the horse ride, but it wasn’t easy. The more he stalled, the more I realized it was something serious enough to be eating at him.