Seth Walker was a sucker for a blowjob that included sneaky fingers.
I worked his hard cock with my mouth as I slowly pushed my middle finger inside of his tight channel. He was so fucking tight; I realized he hadn’t been breached in over a decade.
“Baby, you okay?” I asked.
His eyes opened and looked right at me for a few beats until I noticed he was the one crying.
I pulled out and crawled back up to kiss him softly on the lips. “Shit, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?”
He dashed angrily at his face. “Fuck. Ignore me. Goddammit, I swear I’m not normally so fucking emotional.”
I was taken aback by his reaction.
“Seth, it’s just me. Don’t you dare apologize to me about having feelings. I get that you have to be the big strong cop most of the time, but that doesn’t mean you have a heart of stone. What kind of cop would you be if you did?”
“I don’t want to be a crybaby, for god’s sake. I want to fuck.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He sounded like the teenager I’d fallen in love with. “Oh, sweetheart. We’re gonna fuck. Don’t doubt that for a minute. But what made you upset?”
His chin wobbled some more when he looked at me, and fresh tears escaped.
“You always ask if I’m okay. You always look out for me, Otto. My whole life you’ve tried to protect me and make sure I didn’t get hurt. And now this. I hurt you worst of all, and I don’t know if I can live with myself now that I can’t just ignore it any longer.” He sniffled and blew out a breath. “When I was in Minnesota, going through college and becoming a parent and then training to be a cop, I could put this all away and pretend that it happened in a different lifetime. It wasn’t easy, but I at least could do the whole out of sight, out of mind thing. But now… seeing you? I can’t run away from it anymore, and it’s killing me.”
I lay on my side next to him and brushed my thumb across his damp cheek. “Well, you can stop that shit right now, because I’m looking at it completely differently. When you left, and again when you broke things off between us, I thought my heart wouldn’t survive. I thought I’d never again be able to see you, touch you, laugh with you. And, god… it hurt so badly. Back then. But now? Jesus, Seth. Now I have you. You’re here in my arms, and I never in a million years thought I’d be lucky enough to feel this way again. So, don’t you see? It’s the opposite of sad. It’s fucking amazing. The hurt part is over, and the good shit is just beginning.”
He smiled a watery smile at me and leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known. How can you possibly forgive me so easily?”
I ran a hand down his neck to his chest. “I’m only forgiving you so I can get in your pants.”
He barked out a laugh and it made my heart swell to see the smile come over his blotchy face. He turned on his side to hug me. “I’ll take it.”
Chapter 15
Walker
Dear Walker,
Well, as it turns out, SEAL school (BUD/S) is hard. Really fucking hard. So now I’m training to serve on a submarine.
I know, I know. Don’t say it. I’ve already heard it from Saint plenty. But I haven’t felt symptoms of claustrophobia since I was little. Remember that time when we were like ten and we got stuck in Mr. Parnell’s doghouse? If you hadn’t held my hand the whole time, I think I might have lost it.
I know what you’re thinking. “Otto, you did lose it.” But not as badly as I would have without you.
I was always better with you.
Wilde
(Unsent)
Sex with Otto Wilde was both familiar and different. His body wasn’t caught in between a teenager’s and a man’s any longer. It was all man.
His muscles were dense and hard under tight skin. There was no denying his time in the military. Ink covered places that had been virgin skin before, and I was tempted to map all the new images with my tongue. I’d already seen some of the more obvious ones like the American flag on his left forearm and the lariat around his right biceps. But when he’d been naked in the shower and in bed the night before, I’d been too brain dead from lust to pay much attention to anything other than the feel of him and my own skyrocketing heart rate.
Now that we were lying bare-chested together with my pants half off, I was experiencing a familiar brain-dead sensation.