“I know, sweetheart. And I do. But not the way a proper husband loves his wife. Some men love other men instead of women, and that means they’re gay. I don’t love your mom like that because I love men, Tisha.”
“But Grandma and Granddad always say that’s sickening. They say gay is bad even though my friend Jerri at school in Minnesota said her moms were gay. And I met them. They didn’t seem sickening.”
I wanted to kill my damned parents for being ignorant assholes. For a moment, I thought maybe Jolie was right, and it wouldn’t be okay for my parents to keep Tisha every afternoon if that was the kind of shit they were teaching her.
“Being gay isn’t sickening, honey. And it’s not a choice. I can’t help that I love men, just like you probably can’t help how badly you want a horse. If I tell you to stop wanting a horse, will you be able to?”
“No. I can’t make myself stop thinking about it even if I try real hard.”
“Right. So, that’s how it is for me with liking other guys.”
“So you’re going to have a boyfriend when you move into your new place?”
The doorbell rang and I felt my face ignite. “Um. Yeah. I hope so.”
I stood up and went to open the door for Otto. He stood on the front porch in a pair of dark jeans and a crisp button-down shirt like he’d dressed up for our evening together. He even looked nervous with his hands shoved deep in his jeans pockets and his shoulders up around his ears.
“Hey,” he said, glancing around. “This still okay?”
I heard Tisha’s little feet pad across the floor behind me.
“You’re the horse guy,” she said excitedly. “Did you know we were talking about horses? You musta read our minds!”
Otto’s face split into a grin. “It must have been a lucky guess. I wanted to swing by and ask if you were free this weekend to come to my granddads’ ranch and let me give you a horse ride.”
Her giant intake of breath matched the big wide eyeballs, and I almost laughed.
“Oh my gosh! Are you serious?” She turned to me. “Is he serious? Would you let me? Please, please. I’ll do anything, Uncle Seth. Anything at all if you let me go ride a horse this weekend.”
“Hmm,” I said, pretending to think it over. “Will you clean your room and put your laundry away?”
“Yes, sir. I swear.”
“Okay then. I guess I can agree to that,” I said with a wink.
Tisha threw herself at Otto and hugged him around his waist. His eyes widened in surprise as he met my eyes and brought his arms around her little frame.
“I’ll have to find a helmet your size before then. How big is your brain?” he asked her once he extracted himself from the hug.
“It’s big. Really big,” she said in all seriousness. “I get very good grades at school.”
“Hmm. Size big then. I’ll make a note of that.”
She turned and jump-skipped her way back to the sofa where she gathered up her brush and extra ponytail holders.
“Can I get on my iPad and tell Cody about the horse ride this weekend before bedtime?”
“Sure,” I said. “Tell him he can come with us too. I’m sure Mr. Wilde won’t mind.”
Otto shook his head. “The more the merrier.”
Once she’d gone back to her bedroom, I turned back to Otto.
“Thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
“For being a good person. For making her so happy. For showing up here.” I sighed. “For not hating me.”
He stepped forward and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me into his hard body. My nose immediately sought out the scent of his skin inside his collar.
“I tried hating you really hard, Walker. It didn’t take.”
I held onto him for dear life and reveled in the feel of his body against mine. If I could have stayed like that for the next sixty years, I would have. But duty called and so did my dispatcher.
“Walker,” I said after accepting the call.
“Sheriff, we have a problem.”
Chapter 10
Otto
Walker,
You’re a fucking coward and an asshole. I can’t believe the lies I fell for from you. The promises. You’re nothing but a child who wants whatever is in front of him in the moment. So much for long-term commitment. I guess I should be glad I learned about your fickle nature before we built a life together.
If only I hadn’t wasted my entire fucking life up to this point thinking you were someone you so obviously aren’t.
I hate you,
Wilde
I knew from the look on Walker’s face it was bad. He reached out his hand to me, and I took it without thinking, threading our fingers together and squeezing to let him know I was with him.
His words were clipped and minimal. “Where?… When?…I’m on my way.”