Lio started the fire as I poured the tea, and by the time we were settled in the two armchairs, an awkward silence had descended between us again. I decided to address it head-on.
“Well, this isn’t awkward, now is it?”
Lio smiled softly into his mug. “I hate this.”
“Same here.”
He looked up, deep furrows lining the space between his brows. “Can you come visit me sometime? In Monaco?”
I thought about it for a minute before answering. “I don’t think so. How would you explain my presence there? Plus, you’re going to be so busy. Once you get back to town, you won’t even have time to remember me.”
“Bullshit. You know that’s a lie, and I could just tell people you’re a good friend.”
I felt a lump form in my throat and fought to speak past it. “I don’t think I can pretend we’re just friends, Lio.”
His face fell as he set his mug down on a side table and dropped from the chair to his knees in front of me. His arms came around my waist, and he buried his face in my stomach.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against my shirt. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Felix. I care about you so much. I wasn’t expecting it.”
I ran my fingers through his hair and closed my eyes to memorize the feel of it by touch alone. I could hear the familiar pop and crackle of the logs in the fire and smell a mix of nutmeg, Lio’s shampoo, and woodsmoke. I knew without a shadow of a doubt any one of those smells would have the power to gut me in the future.
“I know. Me neither,” I admitted, although he knew that already. Who in their right mind would have imagined meeting someone in the tiny unknown island in the North Sea?
Lio lifted his head with such wide eyes, I wondered what the hell was going to come out of his mouth.
“Come home with me, Felix. Can’t we figure something out? We can—I know we can.”
The desperation on his face and in his voice made my nose sting, and I wondered if I was actually going to tumble into an ugly cry right here in front of him.
I shook my head. “You know I can’t do that. And anyway, you don’t mean it. Let’s just accept that you can care about someone without being able to be with them long-term, and enjoy our final night together. I brought you in here so we could spend it in my favorite spot.”
“I thought the glassworks was your favorite spot.” His mouth quirked up, letting me know he would let me drop the serious shit.
“Hmm, there are no cookies in the glassworks. And I can’t get naked there,” I mused.
Lio’s eyes opened wide again as he tried to figure out if I was joking or suggesting.
“But you can get naked in here?” His eyes flicked to the doorway before he quickly stood and made his way over to lower the small latch lock on the back of the panel. By the time he turned back toward me, I’d closed the heavy curtains across the windows, despite them facing a private courtyard, and begun to remove my sweater.
Lio stared at me with his navy blue intensity. “Oh hell yes,” he growled, stalking toward me. “Take it all off, Felix. Show me that gorgeous skin.”
I thought about what I wanted from that night with him. I wanted so many things. For Lio to stop worrying and start having fun. For the two of us to create some hot memories to carry with us. For this to not be the last time enjoying each other's bodies, but if it was, I wanted it to be an epic last time.
“Watch me take off my clothes for you, Lio. I want your eyes on me the whole time. Every time you see my nipples harden or my cock jump, I want you to know you did that.”
I pulled off the shirt I’d had on under my sweater, revealing my bare chest. Lio’s eyes flicked down to gaze at my nipples, and just the thought of him staring at them made them tighten into hard nubs.
“That’s it,” I murmured. “Just watch. Sit down in that chair and get hard for me.”
Lio’s hand came down to palm himself through his pants before he sank down into the chair in front of the fire. I moved around to remain in front of him so he could watch in comfort.
I brought my hands slowly to the button of my pants and toyed with it, watching Lio’s intense gaze focus on that spot. My hands rubbed up and down my torso before I tweaked my own nipple and groaned a little. It felt so good to have him watch me. I’d never understood how some people were confident enough to put on a show for someone else in the bedroom, but being with Lio made me want to try it.