Between the two of us, at least she had the chance to go for it. Maybe once the scandal came out and subsequently died down, she’d try again.
“How did you get here?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“I swam, Lio. What are you going to do about Felix?”
I blinked at her in the firelight. Her dark hair was caught up in a messy knot, and her dark eyebrows bunched together in concern.
“What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely confused. “What is there to do about Felix?”
“You like him.”
“Yes.”
She twisted the fingers of her hands together. “He likes you.”
“You think so?” The very idea he liked me back made me happy even though it didn’t really matter in the long run.
“You’re smiling just thinking about him.” Hen’s own face was curved into a smirk. “It’s sweet. I’ve never seen you smile like that about someone you liked.”
“Yeah, well. I told you I liked him, and I do.”
“So, I’ll repeat. What are you going to do about it?”
I felt my back teeth grind together. “Hen, what are you getting at? Because you and I both know there’s no future there. I can enjoy him this week as long as he’s willing and then say goodbye. That’s it.”
“Sounds pretty shit if you ask me.”
My teeth began to ache in my jaw. “I didn’t ask you.”
Hen tapped her fingers against the arm of the overstuffed chair. “You could always—”
I cut her off. “No. Sorry, Hen, but there’s no good solution to this. Just drop it.”
I noticed her glance back at Jon, who sat with his ass propped on a windowsill. I wondered why he was even in here with us. He usually left me in peace inside the castle.
Jon noticed me look at him and spoke up. “I could help you hide—”
“No!” I barked. “Felix deserves better than that, and we all know trying to hide shit doesn’t work. It would come out. It always does.”
I noticed Hen wince, and I felt guilty for my outburst. After a few minutes, she spoke again.
“You could refuse to take the throne,” she offered quietly.
I glanced at her. “And then what? Let Laurence have it? I’d rather die celibate.” My father’s cousin was a nightmare. A womanizer, a bigot, and all-around narcissist. There was no way in hell my family would allow him to take a leadership position in our beloved country.
“Hell no. I mean, you could ask Father to stay on despite his scandal. That would at least be better than Laurence.”
“I’d bet all of Gadleigh our father wouldn’t stay on even if I begged him. I got the feeling he wants to escape somewhere and play pretty family with his new conquest.” Even I could hear the bitterness soaking my words. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the decisions my father had made, but it was done. There was no avoiding the upcoming coronation.
I peered at Hen out of the corner of my eye. “What about you? Why don’t you take the throne?”
She snorted in a very un-queen-like manner, and I could have sworn I heard Jon’s sharp intake of breath at the same time. “Right. As if.”
“Why not? We can bring this ancient monarchy into a new era.”
“If we’re going to do that, we might as well have a gay king, Lior,” she insisted with a smirk. She deliberately used the regal version of my name to make her point. “Explain to me why you think it’s a nonstarter.”
“The reasons are too obvious to state,” I said, more petulantly than I’d intended. “And besides, why come out until there is someone worth coming out for? Until then, it’s really just a hypothetical.”
“Bullshit. And you don’t think someone like Felix is worth coming out for? I saw the way you looked at him, Lio. Don’t you want a chance to see if there’s the possibility for more with someone like him?”
If I didn’t help her understand this soon, I was in danger of losing my hold on my frustration about this situation. “Even if it was perfectly acceptable for me to date a man, it still couldn’t be Felix. He hates the paparazzi. And when I say hate, I mean despises them. He wouldn’t even consider a real relationship with someone like me. The media scrutiny would destroy him.”
“You don’t know that,” she began.
“I do. I really do, Hen. His mother is Jackie Wilde.”
My sister’s mouth opened in surprise. “You’re kidding?”
“No. I’m not. And I get the feeling he’s had his share of shit from the tabloid press, just like we have. He’s a quiet man. Felix deserves to pursue his dreams without people all up in his business. Now, can we stop talking about it, please? I’d like to spend some more time with him before we all have to return to our real lives. I have a feeling this is the last week I have of peace before all hell breaks loose at home.”