He’d been trying to get a hold of me because a trial date had finally been set. It looks as though I’m going to have to return so that I can testify against my former boss Jared Lawrence. Roberts also told me I won’t likely come back here after the trial due to safety concerns. That I needed to be ready to be relocated again.
I thought things were messy before, but with Paige and Bear now in the mix, they’ve gotten a whole lot messier. I know I’m going to have to come clean to Bear sooner rather than later. I never should have agreed to be Paige’s nanny in the first place. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about the danger it could put them in if I was ever found.
I do a quick check of myself in the mirror to make sure I’m not crying anymore before I exit my bedroom. I don’t make it far. I barely get the door open before Bear is pushing his way into my room and shutting it back behind him.
“Bear!” I let out a small squeal when he lifts me off my feet and pins me to the bed. For a big man, he sure can move fast. My body instantly heats being pinned beneath him. There was no missing the hurt on his face today when I told him we couldn’t really get married.
Part of me wanted to latch on to the hope that he was hurt because he really wants this between us. That his proposal was about more than making a family for Paige. That he wants me either way. The past few months have been the best of my life.
People always asked me if it was hard to nanny. To fall in love with kids that aren't yours. For me it hasn't been. While I do have a love for the kids I take care of, I know they’re not mine. Those families don’t belong to me. That’s not the case here. Paige is starting to feel like she’s mine. Bear too.
“What’s going on? I know you don’t like that dipshit Ted.” My eyes start to water again. “He can’t hurt you. I could break him in half,” he offers. “Make him disappear.” I snort a giggle. Bear doesn’t laugh with me. He’s dead serious.
“I have to leave.” Bear’s hold on me tightens.
“You can't.” He pauses. He goes to say something but stops himself. We stand in silence for a moment. Hope builds inside of me that he’ll ask me to stay for him. “Paige needs you.” I close my eyes, trying to fight the tears. His words break my heart.
“Don’t cry.” He growls. I’m sure everyone jumps to do whatever he orders when he growls at them.
“I can’t make myself not cry.” I sniffle. “Trust me. I’m trying.”
“It hurts you to know Paige needs you?”
I shake my head no. “I can’t stay just for Paige.” Hell, I can’t stay for a lot of reasons.
“I need you too.” My eyes fly open.
“You need me to help you take care of Paige?” I push for him to clarify exactly what he means. I shouldn’t. It’s pointless. No matter what happens, I have to leave.
“I do, but I need you for me too.” Bear gives me some of that softness he has inside of him.
“Bear, I have to be honest with you,” I tell him. I know it’s now or never. If I’m going to come clean, I might as well say it all. Soon I might never see him again. Unless it’s on a television screen. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”
The way his face all but lights up at my admission has my heart fluttering. It tells me all I really need to know. Bear might not love me yet, but he wants me here for him too. I think Bear is a whole lot sweeter than he knows.
“Then why are you fighting me on this marriage?” he all but shouts, getting worked up again.
“Why are you getting so worked up?” I shout right back at him.
“You’re trying to leave me!”
“Stop shouting,” I shout right back.
“I can’t help it! You do this to me. I don’t understand all the shit you make me feel inside. You scare me when you talk about leaving.” My insides all melt as I start to understand more.
“I scare you?” He takes a deep breath but nods. He is trying to understand all the emotions he’s having to deal with. He has no clue how to process them or to express them. “Paige or no Paige, you’d want to be married to me?” He nods his head again. I go all in, not really having anything to lose at this point. “You think you’re in love with me?”
“There’s no thinking. I know.” He growls again. It rumbles through my body.