I took the bait. Why not? It was probably love. I figured that my family liked her, and I couldn’t find anything too annoying or problematic about her. She adored me.
So I bought the diamond. Mom designed the setting on a gold band, just as the best friend ordered. I rented a boat, hired a caterer, and invited all of our friends for a sail at dusk.
Then—with said ring—she went and got knocked up by my dad’s business partner, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Holt clears his throat.
“What?” I ask, taking a deep breath to rid myself of thoughts of the past.
“Nothing. You just checked out for a minute.”
It’s my turn to hum. It’s better than admitting what I was thinking about.
I start to walk and, this time, it’s Holt that follows along.
“What did you do about what’s-her-name?” Holt asks.
“Shaye?”
“Yeah. Shaye. She showed up for an interview. What happened?”
“Well …” I lick my lips. “I offered her a job.”
Holt whistles through his teeth.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Again, I trust your judgment. But I’m going to ask it anyway—are you sure this is a good fucking idea?”
Fuck if I know.
“I mean, yesterday you were a little … To use a Siggy Mason word, smitten,” he says cheekily. “And today you’re offering her to be essentially your right fucking hand in our family business. Should you fuck where you feed?”
My head whips to the side, and I laugh. “What?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It was supposed to be a play on shit where you eat, but it got lost in translation.”
“That it did.”
“You know what I mean, though.”
I do. I know exactly what he means.
The offer was purely based on her credentials. I’m not totally out of my gourd. I scanned her resume while Toni went in to talk to her and recognized the name of her last employer. Miles Monroe is an old family friend. He gave her a stunning reference filled with praise and said he was sad to have to part ways with her.
I didn’t have time to press the issue for details. Toni walked back out.
Offering Shaye the job was a game-time decision, but it wasn’t made on the fly. She has the experience. She has the recommendations. We have chemistry—something that is essential for an executive and his assistant.
But that’s the problem too. We have chemistry. And Holt suspects it.
“I’m not fucking anyone at the moment,” I tell him. “So fucking where I feed isn’t a problem.”
“And if that status changes?”
I blow out a hasty breath. “I don’t know, Holt. I don’t even know if she’s going to accept the offer. She said she’d think about it and let us know.”
We pause at a washout. The air is thick and heavy like it’s about to storm.
“What happens if she accepts?” Holt asks. “Do you think you can work with her and keep it professional?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean, I could hire her to work for me. And then—”
“No.” I shake my head. I know I answered too quickly but it’s too late to do anything about it now. “I can keep it under control. I got this.”
He looks me right in the eyes. “Do you really? Because your whole vibe about her is different than anyone since Kendra.”
I groan at the sound of her name.
“Nah, it’s even different than Kendra,” Holt says. “I don’t even think you liked her.”
“I did, actually.”
“Okay, maybe you liked her. But you didn’t love her.”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “How would you know who I loved and didn’t love?”
“Because you let her go.”
“She was having someone else’s baby, dumbass. Someone else, may I add, who caused our family a lot of fucking embarrassment.”
I clench my jaw and exhale.
“I think Dad enjoyed knocking out Charles Gamby,” Holt jokes. “And Mom was thrilled when they closed that cigar side business. She thought it was a waste of time for years.”
“Glad I could help.”
Holt clasps a hand around my shoulder. “Be honest with me. Weren’t you a little relieved when all of that happened with Kendra?”
I still. I’ve never admitted that to anyone, not even Holt. I’ve never said it aloud to anyone either. Not even the mirror. But a little part of me did feel a sense of relief the morning after Kendra told me the truth. I felt guilty about it, but relief was there in spades, too.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Oliver. I think you knew that Kendra was fucking around, and you let it happen. That’s what I meant. You put very little time into that relationship, and you couldn’t have been blind at events when she was talking up random men.” He shrugs. “You don’t have to admit shit to me but just know I know.”
I want to argue with him, but I can’t.
Holt drops his hand. “Hey, if you want to hire Shaye—do it. Just be clear minded about it. Family first. Always.”