“Here you go. I got two, just in case.”
I nod and stare at the white container, unable to speak. My friend puts a palm on my shoulder comfortingly. “It’s going to be okay, no matter what the test says, Colleen. Trust me. Just take it.”
With that, I disappear into the bathroom again before tearing open the package and following the instructions. The two minutes it takes for the test to develop are the longest in my life, and when I finally look at the stick, it says clear as day: pregnant.
“Oh my God.”
My friend looks over my shoulder and then slings an arm around my shoulders.
“It’s good news, right? A baby is a blessing, and I’m here for you. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be an amazing mother.”
I’m still stunned.
“I didn’t think… well, I guess I just didn’t know … we should’ve been more careful,” I finish. “OMG, what do I do? Carl and I have never talked about this.”
April stares at me.
“Hey, buck up, girlfriend. Look at your sister. Sarah’s with two guys, and they have an awesome daughter. If Sarah can make her unconventional relationship work, you can absolutely survive this.”
That’s what I keep telling myself, but it’s hard to process. What will my parents say? What will my sister, our relatives, and all my friends say when they realize I’ve been knocked up by our forty-year old neighbor? And most importantly, what will Carl say?
April reads my mind and holds my shoulders firmly while looking into my eyes.
“You need to tell him, sweetie. Right now. He deserves to know.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do it. What if he’s mad? What if he doesn’t want this baby? OMG, I think I’d die but I don’t want to lose him either. Maybe I should wait.”
April is firm.
“No, sweetie. The sooner you tell him, the easier it will be for you. After all he’s the father of your child, and you can’t keep that from him forever. Besides, he sounds like an amazing guy. Trust him to handle it.”
Could that be possible? We’ve only been together for a few months, so we’ve never talked about babies or anything like that. In fact, Carl’s already forty without kids, and I suspect it’s because he doesn’t want a family, period. What if he tells me to get rid of the baby? Then where does that leave me?
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know,” April says. “But you have to do this. Stay strong, girlfriend.”
She hands me my phone and even though I’m terrified, I dial Carl’s number. I can barely say his name before he senses that something’s off.
“You okay, Colleen?” he asks, his tone concerned. “What’s wrong?”
At that, I burst into tears, and Carl’s not having it. He growls that he’ll be right over, and then hangs up.
“Do you want me to stay?” April asks sympathetically.
I hug her, then shake my head. “No, because this is something I need to tell him in private. Thanks though.”
“Okay. I love you. Call me if you need me, okay?”
I promise to do so, and then walk her out the front door. My heart’s pounding as I await Carl’s arrival and sure enough, in a few minutes there’s a huge shadow on our porch.
I open the door and immediately fall into my boyfriend’s strong arms before burying my head in his chest. Without any warning, the tears start to flow and I blurt out my news: “I’m pregnant.”
Oh god, what did I just do? Have I ruined our relationship, once and for all?
8
Carl
I hold a sobbing Colleen against my chest as her words register. Holy shit, the curvy girl’s pregnant! Who would have guessed?
Then again, I suppose it’s to be expected. After all, there were a few times when I came in her raw and unprotected, and she’s young and very fertile. Those curves were meant to make her a mommy, and I should have foreseen this.
My heart races, but it’s not just from nerves. It’s from excitement and sheer happiness. After all, I never thought I’d become a father. When you’ve played the field as long as I have and never encountered “the one,” you lose hope. But now, my future has come in the form of a gorgeous nineteen year old who happens to be sweet, mature, and knocked up with my baby. I’ve never been happier than I am right now.
After a few more sniffles, I pull back to look into my girlfriend’s watery brown eyes. Colleen looks sad and a little afraid.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Do you not want to be pregnant?”
She sniffles again, looking down.
“No, but I guess this was just so unexpected, and we’ve never talked about it before.”
I tip her chin so that our gazes meet.
“But do you want the child?” I ask gently. “I know you’re young, but I think you’re ready to be a mommy. If you want to be,” I add.