"Online course?" He questions. His lips form a thin line, as if he’s angry at what I said.
"I’m sorry, if this isn’t a good time I can come by your office tomorrow—” Interrupting me, he quickly loses the angry expression he had and replacing it with a more neutral one.
"No, I’ll email her tonight, but usually there needs to be a reason a student would need to change from a classroom setting to online education in the middle of a semester. What would that reason be?"
"Oh, I’ve talked with Mrs. Reynolds about my personal reasons already, and she said that switching over shouldn’t be a problem."
"First you move off campus and now you’re dropping out?"
Okay?
“Professor Green…me living off campus or choosing to finish my semester online is none of your business," I tell him. I mean what the hell is up with that? He’s always been a pretty nice guy and a good teacher, but being pissed about things that are none of his concern…
"I take my job as a teacher seriously, Alba. I apologize for being intrusive." he responds in a hurried clipped tone.
"I need to go," I huff.
Turning, I walk to my truck and he calls out, "I’ll take care of everything."
I look over my shoulder and answer him as I climb into my truck, "Thank you."
True to his word, Professor Green along with my other teachers were able to send all the information Mrs. Reynolds needed and almost four weeks later I’m enrolled in online classes. I have to say that my level of concentration is much better now that I’m working at home instead of in the classroom. The class setting wasn’t for me. This now allows me to not only continue with the degree I want, but to work on my book cover business as well.
That and the fact it seems in the last three and a half weeks my stomach has decided to double in size. And this baby is active. And more so when I get a craving for chocolate ice cream, which I try really hard not to stuff my face with. I swear I could sit and eat a half gallon in one sitting.
Then, there is t
he whole hiding my pregnancy from Gabriel and my sister. I feel guilty about it all the time. But with Gabriel’s rejection and the possibility of letting my sister down has me keeping my mouth shut. At least till I can work up the courage to tell them. I know it will have to be soon. No matter how Gabriel feels about me, I won’t keep him from his child.
I had another doctor appointment yesterday and decided not to find out the gender right now. I’m not quite ready to know. I feel like I need to share that kind of news with my sister. I’ll wait until I go home for Christmas and we can open the envelope together. That’s when I’ll have to face the music. There will be no more hiding. I even managed avoiding going home for Thanksgiving by saying that Leah and I had the flu and couldn’t make it.
Did Bella buy it? By the hurt I heard in her voice I doubt it, but again, she pretended right along with me. At the end of the conversation she told me all she wants is for me to be happy. She misses me and she hopes I get to feeling better. So here I am, sitting at home—not sick, eating a small turkey dinner I helped Leah cook and I’m not enjoying a bit of it. Not that it tastes bad or anything, cause it’s really good. I’m missing my family. I can sit around and blame someone else for it all but the blame is on me. I chose to go it without them. I needed to prove that I can do this—do life on my own. I needed to prove it to myself more than anything.
December-Christmas Break
"Sam, I am really sorry. I never meant for any of this to affect you," I say with remorse. Word has spread that I’m knocked up and everyone thinks Sam is the father.
"I’m not. Fuck what everyone else thinks," he says sitting down on the couch, placing my feet in his lap and starts to massage them. Hiding my pregnancy is no longer possible. I swear I’m going to give birth to a linebacker as huge as I am. And I’m miserable. My back hurts and I’m getting cankles.
"You quit the team Sam, all because a couple of the guys said shit about me. You knocked one of them out. What’s going to happen to your scholarship now?"
"You know I never wanted to play football professionally anyway. As for my full ride, I’ll find out my fate after Christmas break. In the meantime, why don’t we go out for a late lunch—my treat. Use what I can off dad’s credit card before he finds out what I did today."
I rub my belly. Food sounds good, food always sounds good.
"Leah should be back in about an hour. Dinner sounds good." I glance up at him, "Mexican?" I ask.
Standing up I tell him I’m going to take a shower. Stepping in my room and closing the door, I strip out of my clothes and throw them in the hamper. Walking over to the bathroom I stand in front of the full-length mirror next to my closet door and stare at myself wearing nothing but a pair of boy shorts. My body has changed so much. My hips are a little wider and my breasts are a whole lot bigger. Even my face seems like it has changed somehow. I’m not the same woman I was almost six months ago. I turn and look at my profile. I’m going to be a mom. Every-day I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself and every day I’m still in awe. I love this baby more than anything in life.
We decide on Taco Tuesdays at Jose’s. You get half off tacos, and I’ll try to eat my weight in them. Plus, the atmosphere here is great. I lean back in my chair.
"Why did you guys let me eat so much?" I think I ate five. But they were so good.
"I’m kind of scared to say no to you," Sam says with his eyes wide, chuckling.
"Sam, she is eating for two you know. What’s your excuse?" Leah jokes, which causes all three of us to laugh.
"Why don’t we stop by Dairy Queen on the way back home and get some ice cream. I want a banana split." I say when we stand and put on our coats. They both ignore the fact that I just told them I was full but am and now requesting dessert. Stepping outside the restaurant I breath in the cold evening air. The sun is hidden behind a bunch of clouds causing all the Christmas lights outside to come on. Every storefront in town is decorated with lights and garland. The whole street is lit up with twinkling lights and dancing Santa’s everywhere.