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Abel bent over and kissed Angeline on the cheek. “Someday, Angeline,” he whispered.

Melissa held Abel’s hand.

“She was all I ever lived for,” Abel told her. “All I ever cared about. I was always so afraid I’d blow it for her. Well, Abel,” he said, “you finally did it.”

“No,” cried Melissa. “It wasn’t your fault. You mustn’t believe that.”

Gus and Gary walked up to Angeline. Gus kissed her on the cheek. “Angelini,” he sai

d. He too was crying.

Gary also kissed her. He wanted to rip all the tubes out of her. It seemed to him that the tubes were sucking life out of her, instead of giving it to her. “I heard a new joke,” he whispered. “You want to hear my joke, Angeline? Why doesn’t an elephant need a suitcase?”

“Why?” Angeline whispered.

Gary’s mouth dropped open. He couldn’t speak. All he could do was point, loudly.

“I give up. Why?” Angeline asked again.

Why wouldn’t he answer her? He just stood there, looking like a goon. She looked around the room and tried to figure out where she was, but it was too crazy to figure out. Nothing made any sense. Why was Cool Breezer jumping up and down and whooping and shrieking, she wondered. And why was he dressed so funny? What happened to his wool cap? Why did he just kiss her foot? And now the other one!

“Stop that!” she laughed. “What’s going on here?”

And who was that lady dressed in white coming toward her and shouting, “Doctor! Doctor!”

“Why doesn’t an elephant need a suitcase?” she asked. Why wouldn’t anybody answer her?

The lady in white shrugged. “Because it never takes a trip? Because it doesn’t own any clothes? Doctor!”

That’s not even funny, she thought. “That’s not a joke!” she shouted. Why was everybody laughing? It wasn’t even funny. She saw her father, and Gus, and Mr. Bone. Were they laughing or crying? She was getting very angry.

“What’s going on here?” she demanded, but the madder she got, the more she yelled, the crazier everyone acted. What were these tubes sticking in her? Why was Gus carrying Gary around on his shoulders?

“Are you all crazy?” she screamed. Wouldn’t someone tell her what was happening. “Cool Breezer?” she pleaded, but all he did was yell and scream. And Gary was unable to talk.

“Doctor!” the lady in white shouted. Why did she want a doctor? She looked too happy to be sick.

And why—and this was what really didn’t make any sense at all—why were her father and Mr. Bone…kissing???

Twent-Two

You Never Know

High on the cliffs above the secret cove, the weary sailor and the one-eyed pirate dueled to the death. Tied to a tree, the beautiful lady didn’t make a sound for fear of waking up the drunken crew. The sailor thrust his sword through the pirate’s evil heart. The pirate raised his sword in a menacing manner, tottered on the edge of the cliff, then fell to his watery grave.

The garbage truck, clean and bright and shiny like a fire engine, pulled up in front of the apartment building and parked. Gus rode the elevator up to the fourth floor.

“C’mon, Angelooni, let’s go,” Abel called into the bathroom. “Gus is here.”

“Just a sec,” said Angeline.

Abel and Gus waited for her, sillily grinning at each other.

Oh so quietly, the sailor tiptoed through the sleeping crew and untied the beautiful lady. And for the first time, he kissed her sweet lips. They gathered up the gold and the jewels and sailed off to San Francisco, where they lived happily ever after.

Angeline stepped out of the bathroom, wearing her best dress. “Let’s go,” she said.

“Well, don’t you look pretty,” said Gus.


Tags: Louis Sachar Someday Angeline Fiction