The boy looked at the ball.
“Get the ball, Goon!”
He didn’t get it.
Philip Korbin, one of the kids in Angeline’s class, walked toward the boy. He was obviously disgusted that he had to walk so far and waste the recess when he could be playing baseball.
“Come on, Goon, throw me the ball,” he said.
“I’m eating,” said the boy, and he pretended to eat his milk carton again.
Angeline laughed.
Philip gave her a dirty look as he walked past her and got the ball himself. “What a goon,” he muttered, and started back toward the baseball field.
“Maybe if you didn’t call him a goon, he would have gotten the ball for you,” said Angeline.
“Shut up, Freak,” said Philip. He threw the ball back toward the field and ran after it.
“I hope you strike out,” said Angeline when she knew Philip couldn’t hear her. She didn’t know much about baseball except that the one time she got to play she struck out.
She finished her peanut butter and jello sandwich and washed it down with some milk. She still had some cookies. For the sake of his joke, the boy had thrown away his whole lunch. Angeline thought he looked hungry. “Do you feel like a cookie?” she offered. She took a sip of milk.
“I don’t know,
” said the boy. “How does a cookie feel?”
“Pppphhhrrrwwww,” laughed Angeline. This time the milk not only squirted out her mouth, it also squirted out her nose. She thought it was the funniest joke she’d ever heard.
The boy was shocked. He always told jokes, about a hundred a day, but he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had ever laughed at one.
Angeline couldn’t stop laughing. She didn’t want lunch to ever end. “What time does your watch say?” she asked him. She hoped there was a lot of time left.
The boy put his watch next to his ear. “My watch doesn’t say anything,” he replied. “It can’t talk.”
Angeline laughed again. She thought it was the funniest joke she’d ever heard.
Again the boy was amazed. He didn’t know what to think. Nobody ever laughed at his jokes. That wasn’t why he told them. He didn’t know why he told them, but it couldn’t have been to make people laugh because nobody ever did. Sometimes someone might say, “Ha ha, very funny, Goon,” but that was the closest anyone ever came to laughing. Mostly they just ignored him.
“I think you are so funny!” said Angeline when she stopped laughing.
The boy shrugged. “You’re the only one,” he said. He was really glad Angeline liked his jokes. It was just too bad that he had dumped all his lunch on the ground and didn’t even get the cookie that Angeline had offered. He was starving.
“What’s your name?” Angeline asked.
“Goon,” said the boy and then he laughed stupidly. “See, my real name is Gary Boone,” he explained. “So for a joke I combined my two names and I call myself Goon.” He laughed again.
Angeline didn’t laugh. She didn’t like being called “Freak,” and was surprised to hear that he had made up the name “Goon” himself. “Do you like it when people call you ‘Goon’?” she asked.
Gary shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know.”
“Well, I’ll just call you Gary,” said Angeline. “I’m Angeline.”
“Oh, you’re the real smart kid, aren’t you?” said Gary.
Angeline didn’t answer.
“Angeline Persopolis,” said Gary. “Hmm, I don’t think I can combine those two names.” But then he thought a moment and said, “Angelopolis.”