Alexei’s just as quiet as me. I haven’t left his side. When he gets up, I do the same and follow him like a lost puppy.
I think he needs me just as much as I need him. Every couple of minutes, he reaches out to touch my shoulder or back.
Winter brings a plate of sandwiches, and I shake my head, turning my gaze back to Demitri’s too still body.
“We don’t want to, but we have to,” Alexei murmurs as he holds a sandwich out to me. “Eat, little one. You need your strength for when Demitri wakes up.”
Not if, but when.
Reluctantly, I take the food from Alexei, and we both chew and swallow it down as if it’s mud.
When we’re done forcing the food down, I lean my head against Alexei’s shoulder again, and he rests his cheek against my hair.
“He’s going to be okay, right?” I ask for the hundredth time.
“Yes,” Alexei answers patiently.
During the past day, things changed between Alexei and me. We’ve moved from being contenders for Demitri’s attention to being friends, bound by the love of a man who was willing to die for us.
It’s late at night when Demitri begins to stir, and Alexei, Damien, and I dart to our feet, surrounding him.
Alexei places his hand next to Demitri’s head and leans over him. “Demitri?”
It takes another minute before Demitri opens his eyes, and the sight of his dark irises knocks the breath from me with relief.
“Hey…” Alexei murmurs, pure relief on his face. “Can you hear me?”
“I was shot… not deaf,” Demitri grumbles, strain on his features as he begins to move, trying to sit up.
“No, stay down,” Alexei orders.
Demitri shakes his head, to which Alexei says, “It’s my turn to guard you.”
“You’re too expensive,” Demitri manages to joke, the corner of his mouth even lifting.
And it all comes crashing down on me. Now that I’ve seen he’s going to pull through, I crumble like a house of cards. Covering my mouth with a trembling hand, I spin around and flee out of the room. I make it to the toilet just in time as my body begins to convulse, the bitter tension and shock of the past twenty-four hours being expelled from my body.
A moment later, Alexei crouches next to me, and I want to tell him to go back to Demitri, but I’m in no condition to talk.
When my body stops convulsing, Alexei uses a facecloth he found somewhere and ran under cold water to wipe over my face, and then he presses my head to his chest.
Sitting on a filthy floor, with Alexei comforting me, was the last thing I ever saw coming. In his darkest hour, he’s there for me like he’d be there for Demitri.
I finally manage to say, “Go back to Demitri.”
“He’s asleep again.” Alexei rises to his feet, pulling me up as well. Tilting his head, he locks eyes with me. “Demitri’s the strongest man I know. He’ll be fine. Okay?”
I’m pulled back to his chest, and he hugs me. I nod, even though it doesn’t feel like anything will be fine ever again.
Demitri and Alexei fit each other perfectly, and because of me, Demitri got shot.
If I weren’t here, they’d still be the perfect team, instead of Demitri almost dying.
No matter how much I love Demitri, it won’t change the fact that I’m the one who doesn’t belong in his life. I’m a risk, and I can’t stand the idea of Demitri dying because of me.
I pull back from Alexei, and he waits for me to rinse out my mouth. With a bitter taste in the back of my throat, I follow him to the room Demitri’s in.
Alexei takes a seat while I move closer to Demitri, wrapping my fingers around his palm that’s cool now. His fingers instantly flex, and then his eyes drift open, and they lock on me.
He manages a weak smile, and I have to fight hard to not start sobbing.
“Kiss me,” he whispers.
I shake my head and swallow hard. Instead, I lean down and press a kiss above the bandage to his chest. He smells like antiseptic, where I’m the one that smells like death.
Pulling back, I force a smile around my lips, and brushing my fingers down the side of his face, I soak in the feel of him.
“Just get better, okay.” I keep touching him, unable to pull back.
“I’m already better,” he says, his voice calm compared to the storm raging in me.
The man is seriously made of steel because he turns his eyes to Alexei and asks, “When can we leave?”
“Tomorrow, we’ll go back to the compound. You need to get stronger before we make the flight back to LA.”
I have a couple of days, probably a week at most, with Demitri, and then I’ll have to return to my own life.