How fucked up was that shit?
He was doing his best to read to himself, sounding out words below his breath, paying no attention to the conversation I was having with Jud.
“Thank you,” I managed.
“No thanks needed, man. You know that. This is family. This is life.”
That bitter pill finally splintered down the middle. Jagged pieces piercing me through. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”
“Know you will, brother. Same as me. We’re in this together.”
“My sweet warrior. Watch over your brothers. Take care of them. Love them with all your might.”
My mother’s voice whispered in my ear. Like Jud heard it, too, he muttered what sounded like a warning. “Play it cool and be safe, Trent. Promise me you know this isn’t all on you.”
My grunt was reluctant.
“I’ll take that as your oath.” Then he blew out a sigh. “I’ll call you as soon as I find out more.”
The line went dead.
I glanced at Gage again before I was dialing the number that I only dialed once a year.
A number that made bile rise in my throat and hatred boil in my blood.
It rang and rang before her voice came on the line. “This is Juna. Leave me a message.”
Was sure my teeth were grinding to dust when I hissed, “You better think twice if you’re even thinking about double crossing me because I promise you aren’t gonna like the outcome.”
Nearly jumped out of my skin when the door whipped open in the middle of my leaving it, and Eden slipped into the passenger seat. My attention darted that way in time to catch her face twist in worry.
“Call me as soon as you get this,” I grated before I ended the call and tossed my phone to the console.
“Who was that?” Eden whispered, voice shaking, though she kept it low to keep Gage out of the conversation.
“No one, baby, no one.”
Twenty-Nine
Eden
Do you remember…
Do you remember when Momma got sick?
She fought so hard because she desperately wanted to stay with us. But I saw her fear, the way she watched us each day like it might be her last. Do you remember how she promised that even if she wasn’t here, she’d be watching over us?
Do you remember how much it hurt?
Do you remember how Daddy pretended to be so strong? But he’d weep at night, his agony seeping through the walls and into our hearts. He’d beg and pray, ask for them to trade places, and still, she got sicker every day.
Do you remember how brave you were the whole time? You sat at her bedside for months and held her hand. Whispered stories in her ear while she slept and murmured your promises to take care of us in the moments she was awake. At night, though, you’d lean on Aaron. I think that was when you fell in love, in that quiet peace you found with him at your side.
Do you remember how I was jealous all over again?
You were in so much pain, Eden. So much pain, and still you stayed. You loved. You cared. You were willing to stand in the middle of the storm, your arms lifted high as you shouldered the burden.
Do you remember how I watched it from afar? Detached and floating away? The one thing I wanted was to feel something good or just not to feel at all because I found no comfort in those walls. I found only fear and hurt and the coming loss.
Do you remember when we laid her in the ground? It was so cold that day. The wind bitter and cruel as it howled through the trees. You held my hand so tightly. I’ll never forget it, Eden, the way you held on like you were trying to save me, too.
With your other hand, you held onto Daddy. A firm fortress in the middle of us.
You were our rock while I’d never felt so removed and so alone.
Do you remember how I ran? How I turned my back? How I stole? How I lied? How I caused more pain?
I remember, Eden. I remember it all, and I wish I could go back.
Harmony
With shaking hands, I folded the letter and stuffed it into my back pocket where I stood in Trent’s kitchen.
Grappling.
Battling.
Rocked again.
Unable to process what she was saying or what she wanted.
I’d felt my world shake when Jud had brought me a stack of mail from my house and there’d been another letter from my sister.
Part of me wanted to find her and shake her. Tell her I couldn’t take anything more right then. To just go. To stop the turmoil she caused and leave us behind the way she’d done for years. I was already dealing with enough.
The other? The part that would love her forever? Even when she’d destroyed me and my father again and again?