“How dare you!” she exploded at that. “How dare you do that to me and then say nothing!”
His eyes flashed, and he threw his arms up in the air. “What did you want me to say? That it was a mistake? That I got carried away by your pretty blue eyes and the way you looked in that scrap of a dress?” he shot back. “You told me not to mention it, and since I was drunk and clearly screwed up, I thought it was a damned good idea. You pretended nothing happened the next day, and I went with it. At least it gave me time to get it right.”
“Get what right, you idiot? You just shot our friendship to hell!” She pushed him aside and stormed away to her bedroom, adding as she went, “Now excuse me if I go pack, you…you jerk! How could you even agree to help me seduce Garrett after you touched me like you did, you… Oh! I can’t even think of a word for you!”
She slammed the door with a bang.
Her lungs burning for air, she fell back weakly against the door and stared at the bed with blurry eyes. She glanced at the walk-in closet, tempted to leave this very second. She would leave. Of course she would. But she needed him to drive her, or Kate to come get her, and she’d die before she made that request of either of them right now.
A desolate sensation weighed heavy on her chest as she thought of the mural waiting upstairs, a safe haven for her to get lost in a sea of color. She had never left a work unfinished and she was not going to start now because of that…that douche!
She would finish it tonight, or at least try to, and then she’d leave tomorrow.
She still couldn’t believe it. He had known…all along, all this time. The bastard had already kissed her, fondled her, known how easy it was to make her explode.
What mockery.
That beautiful masquerade kiss now mocked her. Her best friendship in the world—her entire life—mocked her.
One after another, memories flashed before her eyes, and there wasn’t a single happy memory that she could remember not featuring Julian. She saw him smiling down at her like a lone wolf, tweaking her nose, rumpling her hair, driving her back home. She saw him snarling at her and teasing her and tickling her, and calling her Mo-Po, Mopey, Moo, Molls, Mo-Mo, Moo-Moo….
Nausea rose up her throat, and she shakily sat down on the edge of the bed, held a pillow to her chest and drew in deep breaths. But she didn’t seem capable of filling her lungs. She’d just never felt so empty. So stupid. So used. Nothing in her life had ever hurt this much, not even when Jules had left her all those times.
But he won’t make me cry anymore, she thought angrily, remembering Kate’s recent words.
Teeth gritted, she curled up into a rigid little ball with the pillow firmly grasped to her core, and something very deep inside her clenched tight as the images of that night bombarded her once more.
His mouth, firm and urgent, the roughened sound he made as he kissed the tops of her breasts, as if he’d just entered heaven and they had been made just for him.
The way he’d groaned and bent his head to her ear, biting the lobe hungrily, desperately, and then how he’d soothingly murmured to her, “Shh…shh…”
Her eyes stung with unshed tears. How could she not have known?
She’d been so sure it was him at first, that wolfish smile so familiar to her, but then the way he’d fiercely kissed her had been so completely unlike her cocky best friend. Why did it have to be him? The man couldn’t keep his hands to himself and just had to have a piece of her, too?
She’d promised herself when she was a thirteen-year-old girl that she would not shed any more tears for Julian John. He meant too much to her, was too special to her, made her feel like a princess being rescued by a hero. She’d promised herself she would get rid of the infatuation she had with him, her silly crush, because everyone told her he would hurt her and they couldn’t all be wrong.
But it was no use because now the truth stared her in the face, and yes, yes, yes, it mocked her, too.
The man she’d felt she’d die if she didn’t kiss again…
The man she knew in her gut was her soul mate…
That man was the only man in the world who could really, truly break her heart into such tiny particles she would never be able to piece herself back together.
And now even their friendship, the one golden and steady thing in her life, was gone.
* * *
Julian wanted to punch something.
He paced his room for hours, restless, his emotions gone berserk. Jealousy coursed through his veins like some sort of acrid poison as he remembered Molly’s moans, the way she’d responded to him the night of their first kiss, like her body was a harp only his fingers knew how to pluck and tune and play…
And all while she’d thought he was Garrett.
His brother.
The guy who’d been holding her when she was in tears today.