‘I guess so.’ Sabrina sighed. ‘Guy was worried that something like this might happen.’
‘You mean that Khalim would inevitably leave me to go back to Maraban and find someone more suitable?’
‘Well, yes.’ Sabrina bit her lip. ‘I wanted to warn you about his reputation, but Guy said—’
‘No.’ Rose shook her head to interrupt her friend. ‘I don’t want Khalim portrayed as some feelingless heartbreaker who used me and then dumped me. I went into this with my eyes open, Sabrina. I knew exactly what would happen, and now it has.’ And the pain of his leaving was more intense than she had imagined in her worst nightmares.
Sabrina had come straight round soon after Khalim had left for the airport. ‘Khalim has just rung me,’ she announced to a red-eyed Rose when she opened the door to her. ‘Oh, darling Rose—I’m so very sorry.’
‘He told you about his father, I suppose?’ Rose questioned dully.
‘Yes.’ Sabrina shut the front door behind her. ‘He also told me to look after you. He’s worried about you, you know.’
‘I’m not an invalid, Sabrina,’ said Rose stiffly.
But actually, maybe she was beginning to feel like an invalid.
In the two hours since Khalim had left for the airport, she had wandered around the flat like a robot, picking up all her possessions and placing them in neat piles, ready to go.
It was surprising really, just how much of a home they had made. In three months of living together, they had built up much more than she remembered. Lots of books. Vases. A coffee set. A beautiful backgammon set. Little things she had brought to their home. A lump formed in the back of her throat and she swallowed it down.
No point in thinking like that. No point at all.
‘But where will you go?’ asked Sabrina.
Rose looked at her with a calm, frozen face. ‘I’ll be fine. Don’t forget—I’ve still been paying the mortgage on my flat, all the time I’ve been living here with Khalim.’
‘But I
thought you said that Lara had moved that ghastly boyfriend of hers in.’
‘Yes, she has.’ Rose gave a worried frown, before a little of her customary fire returned to reassure her that she hadn’t become a complete walking piece of misery. ‘And she can jolly well move him out again!’
‘And you’re really going to sell this place?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be making major decisions like that?’
Rose shook her head. In a world which now seemed to have all the security of quicksand, there was only one thing she knew for sure. ‘I won’t change my mind,’ she said quietly. ‘I just know I have to go.’
‘So will you buy somewhere else with the proceeds, if it’s just the fact that you can’t bear to live here without Khalim?’
‘It isn’t. I just don’t want to be beholden to him in any way.’
‘Oh, Rose, he can afford it!’
‘That’s not the point! I know he can afford it! But it will make me feel like it’s some kind of pay-off.’
‘I’m sure it isn’t.’
‘So I’m going to give the money to charity instead!’ she declared.
‘Khalim wouldn’t want you to do that. He’d want you to use it on yourself. Guy says he’s genuinely concerned about you—’
‘Well, he needn’t be,’ said Rose stubbornly, because concern made her stupid heart leap with excitement. He might be concerned, but he wasn’t here, was he? And he never would be, either. ‘He’s always telling me how brave and how strong I am. I’ll get over it.’
Maybe if she said it often enough, she just might convince herself.