‘Not very?’ He stared at her, disbelief welling up inside him like a bitter tide. For a moment he thought that he might be mistaken. That it was something which was lost in translation between two people who spoke different languages. But the shrinking look in her eyes told a different story. Naked, without the prim clothes which made you think of wholesomeness and innocence—Ciro realised he was seeing the real Lily for the very first
time. The flesh which he’d only ever seen covered with retro clothes was as creamy and as delicious as he’d imagined. The hair which he’d found so alluring now spilled gloriously over the pillow, just like every fantasy he’d ever had. But now it seemed to mock him because the image she’d presented was nothing but an illusion and he felt the kick of pain in his heart as he registered just how wanton she looked.
Yet why should he be so surprised? Why had he ever thought she was different from all the others, when it turned out that she was exactly the same? He remembered his own mother—too wrapped up in her own desires to spare much time for the little boy who waited alone in the big, cold mansion. Remembered his nameless fears as he’d lain awake night after night and wondered if she would return home alone or not. He remembered Eugenia and the way she’d hinted that sexual straying was negotiable. Had he thought he’d found illusive innocence in the wholesome-looking Lily—only to discover that he had been duped all along?
He felt the violent slam of his heart against his ribcage but he asked the question anyway. Knowing that he was nothing but a crazy fool to cling onto a last shred of hope as he looked deep into her blue eyes. ‘So were you a virgin, Lily?’ he bit out painfully. ‘Or was your bridal innocence nothing but a sham?’
CHAPTER NINE
LILY’S heart sank as she met the dark accusation which blazed from Ciro’s eyes. His hands were digging into her hips; she wondered if he realised that—or whether her skin was just more sensitive than usual because of the amazing orgasm he’d just given her. It shouldn’t matter whether or not she was a virgin, she told herself fiercely, and yet hot on the heels of that thought came another. Stupid Lily for not having told him sooner. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And how best to tell him now, in these awful circumstances? When they were both stark naked and he was staring at her with an expression she’d never seen on his face before and would be quite happy never to see again.
‘No, I wasn’t a virgin. But then…’ she tried a smile which didn’t quite come off’… neither were you.’
A fierce pain shafted through his heart and his throat felt as if it had been dusted with gravel. ‘Ah, but I never pretended to be otherwise, did I? Unlike you.’
He pushed her away from him, positioning her against the rumpled bank of pillows before getting up off the bed—as if he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible.
‘I didn’t pretend!’ she protested, the cool air rushing over her bare skin and making her acutely aware of his physical absence.
‘Didn’t you?’ He flicked her a contemptuous look as he reached for his boxer shorts. ‘You certainly didn’t bother to correct my assumption that you were innocent, did you, Lily? Nor bother enlightening me that you’d had other lovers before me—other men who have been intimate with your body. You went along with it, didn’t you?’
Lily bit her lip as his words hit a nerve, knowing that he was speaking the truth. She had let herself go along with it for all kinds of reasons. She’d known that he respected her because she’d kept him at a distance. That women who didn’t fall into bed with him were something of a rarity in his life. And she hadn’t seemed able to stop herself from buying into his fantasy. She’d liked the way he made her feel. She’d liked it too much. He had made her feel cherished—as if there had been no man before him. He still did. Tom was like a shadow in comparison. Couldn’t she make him understand that?
‘I know I should have told you,’ she said carefully. ‘I know that now. But it was so easy to go along with the amazing time we were having and I didn’t want to spoil what we had.’
‘So you thought you’d wait until our wedding night to spring your little surprise on me, did you? Until you’d ridden me like a hooker? Forgive me if I don’t commend your sense of timing.’ He saw her flinch at his crude statement, but he didn’t care because the dull, blunting pain of betrayal was hurting his heart. ‘How many was it, Lily?’ He held up his hand, where his golden wedding ring seemed to catch the light and mock him. ‘Less than the fingers on one hand—or is that a conservative estimate? As many as fifty, maybe? No wonder you were so damned good!’
‘Not lovers in the plural!’ she cried, cringing beneath the contempt in his dark eyes as he started sliding the silken boxer shorts over the taut length of his thighs. ‘There’s been only one before you!’
‘And that’s supposed to make me happy?’
Looking at him, she couldn’t imagine that anything would make him happy right then. Unless some last-ditch attempt at logic might appeal to his wounded sense of pride. ‘You didn’t tell me about your previous lovers.’
‘Not in detail, no—but I certainly didn’t twist the truth to make myself into something I wasn’t.’
She sucked in a deep breath, knowing that she needed to confront what lay at the bottom of all this. ‘Was my supposed virginity so important to you, then, Ciro?’ she questioned quietly.
There was a moment’s silence as he met her bright blue gaze but he hardened his heart to it. ‘You know it was,’ he said coldly as a pulse began to flicker at his temple. He watched as her fingers grabbed at the rumpled sheet, bringing it up to cover the soft blur of curls at her thighs. And he realised that she was no different from any other woman—willing to stoop to any deception if she thought she was in with a chance of hooking a wealthy man.
Eugenia had made it clear that she would overlook anything, just as long as she was adequately rewarded—but at least she had been honest about her motives. She hadn’t pretended to be a sweet innocent, acting as if butter wouldn’t melt in that delicious mouth of hers. Cleverly buying into his ultimate fantasy of marrying a woman who was a virgin.
‘Ciro, come back to bed. Please.’
His mouth twisted. ‘What a fool I’ve been,’ he grated. ‘A fool to have been sucked in by your soft curves and homespun talents. By your supposed innocent primness.’ He picked up his discarded shirt and slid it on over his broad shoulders. ‘The first and only woman who didn’t allow me to seduce her. My ideal woman, or so I thought.’
Lily flinched, holding her hands out towards him in a gesture of supplication. ‘I should have told you,’ she said, watching as he pulled on his trousers. ‘But I didn’t, and you never actually asked me. And Tom wasn’t—’
‘Tom?’ he bit out.
‘He was the man I was going to marry.’
‘You were actually going to marry him?’
‘Yes,’ she admitted. ‘But he called the wedding off when he met someone else.’
‘When?’
‘Two days before it was supposed to happen.’