‘I have done my best to come up with a solution to our...dilemma,’ he said, flicking her a shuttered black gaze. ‘So what do you say, Caitlin? Is this something which might appeal to you?’
Caitlin didn’t answer immediately, mainly because her thoughts were still in such a muddle. Was it typical of all men or just this man—that they could address all the practical concerns of an unexpected proposal of marriage, without even touching on the emotional ones? ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘Your reasons are—’
‘Logical?’ he supplied as he plucked one of the golden pens from the container and began to twirl it in between his thumb and forefinger. ‘And lucid? Both qualities which should never be underestimated. Think about it, Caitlin, and then ask yourself, why wouldn’t we marry? We share a son—a fine boy who will one day be King. Wouldn’t parents who are wed make life so much easier for him?’
‘I suppose so,’ she admitted.
‘He likes being here in the palace,’ he continued. ‘Anyone can see that. And all the time he is learning. About horses and falcons and history. About the history of Xulhabi, which will be invaluable to his future.’ He paused. ‘You must realise that I can offer him the finest tutors—’
‘But,’ she put in, like a drowning woman attempting to cling to the raft of her old life, ‘I’ve got him down for an infant school on the mainland starting next September.
Their eyes met. ‘That’s not going to happen,’ he said quietly. ‘You must have realised that by now. Because not only do I need to marry in order to legitimise my succession, there is also the thorny subject of Cameron’s security if you were to return to Scotland.’
Caitlin flinched, because those particular words struck home. Several times she’d thought what might happen if she insisted on taking Cameron back—then letting him come out to visit his father on high days and holidays. Mightn’t Cameron start resenting the laughable contrast between life as a desert prince and life as an ordinary Scottish schoolboy? And what of the security aspect? No matter how much protection Kadir paid for, wouldn’t she be forever looking over her shoulder? Jumping at every unexpected sound and terrified someone would snatch away her beloved boy?
‘I can understand perfectly the reasons why you’ve asked me to marry you,’ she said slowly. ‘But you’ve made no mention of us in all this.’
‘Us?’ he said, as if she had just uttered a word he couldn’t comprehend.
‘About...about what it would be like for us to be man and wife.’
‘I think we could coexist quite—’
‘Happily?’ she inserted sarcastically.
‘Certainly without rancour,’ he amended coolly. ‘Neither of us seem to have had any complaints about the physical side of our relationship and I see no reason why that shouldn’t continue.’
‘Is that why you seduced me, Kadir?’ she questioned suddenly. ‘To lull me into a state of blissful dependence, knowing that one day it might serve you well?’
There was a pause. A pause which seemed to go on as his eyes just got blacker and blacker—unless you counted the furnace-bright spark at their centre. ‘I seduced you because I couldn’t get you out of my mind,’ he husked at last. ‘Because you were like a fire in my blood which would not be doused. You still are. Because no matter how often I feed my hunger for you, it still returns—even stronger than before.’ He slammed the pen down onto the desk and stared at her. ‘Is that what you wanted to hear, Caitlin?’
It was the most passionate thing he’d ever said and, almost without thinking, Caitlin placed her hand over the sudden jump of her heart before quickly letting it fall back down onto her lap. But he must have seen the gesture and correctly interpreted it because his eyes suddenly lost their blazing centre and became flat—almost matt.
‘But that is simply passion—or lust, depending on your definition. And if you’re holding out for love—if that’s what all this is about,’ he added softly, ‘then that I cannot do. This proposal comes unencumbered by any false promises, which will leave you permanently disappointed. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?’
And the weirdest thing was that Caitlin could understand. Now that he’d told her more about himself and she had pieced together some of the fragments of his past, she’d been able to work out some of the things which motivated this battle-scarred man. Born into a dysfunctional relationship which hadn’t worked on any level, he had pointed the finger of blame towards the unpredictability of emotion. He had considered his father a fool because he’d married for love, rather than duty, which was why he’d made duty his priority for his own wedding to Adiya.
But in the end, both duty and love had let him down—no wonder he was wary about relationships.
Yet with Cameron...
Caitlin felt her throat dry, wanting to hide from the truth, but knowing she couldn’t. Because the one bright element in this situation was watching Kadir’s relationship with his son blossom. They had hit it off from the get-go and it had been a pretty amazing thing to observe. Couldn’t the bond they shared be a new beginning, of sorts? Was it too much to hope that Kadir might come to trust those new feelings and spread them around, like the rays of light radiating from the sun?
Spread them to her?
Maybe. Maybe not. She certainly couldn’t enter into marriage if her sole objective was to get Kadir to love her, because he had ruled that out most emphatically. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t lead by example, or that she couldn’t hope things might one day change. Because how could a damaged man learn to love and trust unless he was shown the way? Couldn’t she demonstrate that she was willing to forget the past and move on from it? That there was more to a relationship than the stuff which happened in the bedroom—no matter how mind-blowing the sex happened to be.
She wondered briefly if she should make him wait. Play power games designed to show him she wasn’t a total pushover. But what would be the point of that? They’d start trying to score points off each other and the truth would disappear and all you’d be left with would be a couple of egos, battling for supremacy. And that was the last thing any of them needed.
So she pinned a smile to her lips and, to her surprise, her answer came easily. ‘Yes, Kadir,’ she said softly. ‘I will marry you.’
‘Good.’ For a long moment he studied her before rising up from behind the desk and walking over to the window, where he floated down the blinds, just as he had done once before. ‘I believe it is tradition at this stage to kiss,’ he said softly as he began to move towards her and she could feel an instant rush of heat.
His lips were hard but his kiss was sweet and with very few preliminaries he was rucking up her tunic with hands which were trembling—but weren’t hers trembling, too? He trickled his fingertip over the goosebumps which iced her thighs and as Caitlin squirmed ecstatically, he kissed her again. Seamlessly, he slid down her panties and laid her on the silken surface of the Persian carpet and it felt like a dream. The most delicious dream she’d ever had. Chandeliers and golden vaulted ceilings shimmered above them as Kadir lifted his robes to straddle her.
Yet despite being more turned on than she could ever remember, Caitlin felt a rush of emotion as she looked up into his shuttered face and lifted her trembling fingertips to the rough shadow at his jaw. Her body clenched around him as he made that first thrust and she breathed out a sigh of pleasure as he began to move. He was so big and so powerful—and the feeling was so incredible that for a moment she felt dangerously close to tears.
And right then all her wasted emotions were replaced by pure sensation as he silenced her cries of pleasure with his lips. Her orgasm was spiralling up inside her—so fast and perfect and inevitable. It slammed through her with such force that her head fell back against the rug and then Kadir began to come himself, his shuddered words soft, yet fractured.