‘It was just at the end of the war with Yusawid and the final push to reclaim our borders. I was leading from the front but I was badly wounded, and Rasim came to my assistance, and he...’ His voice sounded thick. ‘He saved his king but lost his own life in the process.’
‘That’s the man in the photo on your desk?’
He nodded. ‘That’s him. Rasim and I grew up together. We learned to play and fight together and he was more like a brother to me, despite the fact that his mother was a palace servant. But he was the only person who was ever there for me in an atmosphere of poison and hate.’ He turned to her. ‘Can you understand now why the future of Xulhabi means so much to me, Caitlin? Can’t you see that if I fail to secure the continuation of the line, I will also be failing the man who gave his life, not for me, but for his country?’
Yes, she could understand all that. She bit her lip. But wasn’t he asking too much of a child who was not yet five?
He had started stroking her breast again and wasn’t it crazy how one minute you could literally be discussing life and death and in the next you could be opening your mouth so that your lover could put his tongue inside it? Maybe that was nature’s way of protecting them from life’s hardships—by making it possible for pleasure to eclipse the pain.
So many conflicting feelings were buzzing around her head and there were still questions she needed to ask. But not now. Not when Kadir’s dark head was moving towards hers.
Because how could she possibly think about anything when he was kissing her like this?
CHAPTER TEN
INDOOR SWIMMING POOLS were pretty much the same the world over, Caitlin thought. Even a grand palace version of a pool didn’t differ much from what you might find in a public bath. There was still all that echo and amplification of sound. Still the glimmer and shimmer of water beneath overhead lights which made everything seem supernaturally bright.
She stood in one of the recesses of the giant complex, shadowed and unobserved as she watched the deft movements of Cameron and Kadir playing together in the turquoise water.
Father and son.
From here it was achingly obvious that there could never be any question of Cameron’s parentage.
Except that there was. At least, according to the dictates of ancient Xulhabian law it had to be proved.
She felt another twist of frustration as she recalled the conversation she’d had with Kadir, early last week. A conversation which had seemed doubly insulting in view of the fact that they had just had the most amazing sex.
Apparently, a tiny sample of her son’s blood had been required.
‘Blood?’ Caitlin remembered echoing, rolling across the expanse of rumpled sheets and looking at him as if he were some kind of moonlighting vampire.
‘It’s no big deal. It is simply to ensure that there can never be any legal challenge.’ His voice had been smooth but explicit. ‘This will cover us in case there is ever any dispute about Cameron’s right to rule. A kind of insurance policy, if you like.’
Caitlin had been so taken aback that she had found herself nodding her consent, without really thinking it through. Not thinking about all the implications which lay behind that supposedly simple remark. Why had she agreed so readily? For the sake of her son, or because she and Kadir seemed to have reached a plateau of understanding—almost of peace—and she wanted to maintain that situation for as long as possible? Had she maybe been seduced by the hope—no matter how hard she tried to deny it to herself—that the intimate moments they’d been sharing were something worth building on?
But she had flinched as a tiny needle was inserted into her son’s perfect skin, and it was only afterwards that Kadir’s statement had sunk in properly. He was still taking it as a given that Cameron would one day inherit his crown, when they still hadn’t come to an agreement about that.
‘Daddy! Daddy! Look!’
She watched Cameron dive beneath the dappled surface to swim an entire underwater width of the pool. And while he might have been bathing in Cronarty’s lochs since he’d been little more than a toddler, he certainly hadn’t been able to do that before they’d arrived here. She expelled an unsteady breath. Maybe it was true that plenty of money and resources were ultimately the most effective way of teaching a child something. She continued to watch as Kadir mimicked his son’s movements, except that he managed an entire length of the pool, which made Cameron clap his hands together in delight. Was there anything the desert King wasn’t good at? she found herself thinking.
Yes.
He wasn’t very good at making her feel connected to him, for all that she shared his bed each night and revelled in the mind-blowing reality of his lovemaking. Because they weren’t connected. Not really. Despite their semi-shared living situation, his bed and his body were all she had of him, for the confidences shared on their first night together had never been repeated.
And maybe lovemaking was too optimistic a way of describing what took place every night in her bedroom, into which Kadir crept once darkness had fallen, before taking his leave as the sun was rising.
She was his secret.
Sometimes she thought she was his guilty secret.
‘I am simply protecting your reputation,’ was his reply to her studiedly casual question about her status. ‘If it were openly acknowledged that you are my lover, it could create intrigue within the palace and that is always unwise. Let’s leave it until we have come to a decision about where we go from here.’
And where was that? Caitlin had wanted to ask. But something held her back from asking the kind of questions which might provide difficult answers. Because while she couldn’t imagine staying here, she couldn’t imagine going back to Cronarty either. At least, not yet.
In an attempt to create some semblance of family life, she had joined in with the daily riding sessions which Cameron shared with his father. At first she had simply watched from the sidelines, but one morning Kadir had persuaded her onto a placid mare, even though it had been many years since she’d been in the saddle. His words had been soft and encouraging and she had found her gentle ride exhilarating—almost as exhilarating as the satisfaction in the Sheikh’s eyes and Cameron’s delighted whoops of excitement.
Sometimes, once the fierce heat had leached from the afternoon, Kadir would demonstrate the skills of Himyar, his prized falcon, while she and Cameron watched it circle and swoop before landing on the Sheikh’s forearm, where it sat regarding the world with its clever, beady eyes. And he kept his promise to teach Cameron chess—a game which the boy was already beginning to understand and to love.