“I know.” His voice is quiet, pained even.
“You…do?”
“Yeah, I speak to your doctors.”
He does? How come I didn’t know that?
“Besides,” he continues, “that’s similar to how Ari told me she loved you the night before. Fuck.”
“Was she…mentally unwell?”
“Yes, depression mostly, but she had that type of behavior, the lying and scheming, but why the fuck would she kill herself if she made it all up?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think either of us had the full gist of her state of mind. I think she had more problems than depression. She might have been a pathological liar and well, something else.”
“Something else like what?”
“It takes so much to plot all that. It was just a pure masterminded plan to keep us apart.”
His eyes rage. “You think my sister killed herself just to keep us apart?”
“I know this pains you, Ash.” My palm cradles his cheek as if the touch will take the torment away. “But you have to keep an open mind if you want to learn the truth. It’s clear she relied on our lack of communication, knowing full well we’d never sit down and talk about this. From what I’ve learned, we did have communication problems, right?”
“And whose fucking fault was that, Reina?”
“Fine, it was mine, but you didn’t help either.” I pause. “I tried to talk to you, right? After I figured things out, I remember thinking I’d talk to you.”
He’s silent for a bit. “After Ari’s funeral, yes.”
“And what was your reply?”
He remains silent.
“What did you tell me?” I insist. “And don’t lie to me.”
He sighs. “The exact words were, You’re fucking dead to me. Don’t let me see your face again.”
His words stab me deep and hard even though I don’t remember them. They must’ve hurt a lot more back then.
Maybe that’s why I pulled back and preferred to take his cold shoulder instead of having him hate his dead sister.
Old Reina sacrificed too, maybe too much, even.
I drop my hand from his cheek and try to turn away but he holds my face hostage, making me look at him. “That was right after Ari’s death,” he repeats slowly. “All I could dream about were her last words.”
It’s his indirect apology, but it’s not enough. I might have had something to do with the way we are, but Asher never fought for me.
Not even once.
Yes, he beat people for me, but he never stood up for me or with me.
I guess that was all I needed from him. If he’d done it back then, if he hadn’t been too proud to stalk away every time I pushed him, maybe none of this would’ve happened.
But it doesn’t matter now.
“If we’re going to investigate this, I’ll do things you might not like.”
He narrows his eyes. “Such as?”