The reply is immediate. Sometimes, I get the feeling he’s never there, and others—like now—it’s almost as if he’s breathing down my neck.
Cloud003: Nice try, my slut.
Reina-Ellis: I mean it. I’m turning the page and you chose not to be part of it. I know you’re blocking any feelings you have for me and I understand. I probably should’ve done the same. I’m sorry and goodbye.
As I hit send, my eyes blur, and I close them to fight the onslaught.
It’s all over now.
All the bad blood and unsaid words.
All the secrets and lies.
It’s…over.
There’s no reply—not that I expected one. He’s a jerk that way, always making me wonder what he’s thinking.
I hope it’ll stop with this goodbye, but I doubt it will.
This thing is already flowing in my blood, and unlike common belief around Blackwood College, I do bleed, both physically and emotionally.
I’ve just mastered the art of deception and don’t show it.
With one last touch to my bracelet, I forge ahead.
Tonight, I’m leaving everything behind and reuniting with the one person who always loved me unconditionally.
The one who gave me their life.
Present
Asher’s silhouette becomes a blur as I struggle to catch my breath.
There’s something paralyzing about pain. It’s not the agony itself but the brain’s reaction to being metaphorically stabbed.
It shuts down at the onslaught and chooses numbness instead, because sometimes, being numb is the only way to survive.
I wish it were physical pain. I wish it were that assault and the agony at the back of my neck and shoulders each time I moved.
At least back then, I lived with the belief that it would soon go away.
This pain won’t.
It’s at its rawest, truest form.
My thighs still ache from how Asher took me last night. My insides are still sore from his touch, how he filled me, how he kissed me and stretched me whole.
A few moments ago, my heart was soaring, almost hitting the ceiling with all the butterflies. Stupid little butterflies.
They’re slaughtered now, leaving blood and goo in their wake.
As I pull my trembling legs to my chest, I can hear it loud and clear: the breaking of a heart. The smash, the fall. I can almost see the pieces surrounding me like broken glass.
And it’s all because of the man in the sharp suit standing in front of the pole.
The man who only approached me for revenge.
I trusted him. I was falling for him.