Jason did come by yesterday, but after a knock and no reply, he left.
I click on the message.
Cloud003: …
What the hell? Just three dots?
I type before I even think about it.
Reina-Ellis: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
The reply is immediate.
Cloud003: Alien language. Keep up, Ellis.
That draws a small smile from me.
Reina-Ellis: What do you want from me?
Cloud003: Aside from your pussy?
I roll my eyes.
Reina-Ellis: Yes, aside from that.
Cloud003: Everything you have to offer, my slut.
Reina-Ellis: How about my dark thoughts?
I don’t know why the hell I mention that. I guess I need someone to vent to. Sure, I could’ve said it to Jason in person, but the semi-anonymity—from his side, not mine—gives me an inexplicable sense of courage.
Cloud003: The gloomy cloud?
My lips fall open as I stare at the words.
Reina-Ellis: How do you know about that?
Cloud003: I know everything about you.
Reina-Ellis: Are you like in my brain or something?
Cloud003: I wish. That way, I’d know everything firsthand.
Maybe I’ve told him about it in our encounters in the past. After all, Old Reina admitted to having feelings for him. Maybe that’s why Jason came to check on me.
Reina-Ellis: It’s painful. I can’t move or drink or eat or do anything. The only movement in my brain is this signal urging me to open the window and jump, just jump and see how freeing that is.
My fingers hover over the phone as the dots appear and disappear, indicating he’s typing.
No idea why I admitted that to him. I didn’t even admit it to myself earlier. All of a sudden, I needed those thoughts out there.
They’re in the world and I can’t take them back.
Cloud003: You jump in cheerleading—why would you want to jump in another way?
I don’t know what I expected as his reply, but that definitely wasn’t it. For some reason, I thought he’d make fun of me since he’s a bit of a jerk. Or maybe I wanted him to make fun of me so I wouldn’t feel this freaked out about these thoughts.
I pause, thinking about my reply.