I open my mouth and nip at his finger. Who am I, and why did I do that?
Jax moves his hand away from my mouth. His thumb caresses my bottom lip as he stares at me, with desire and something else, pulling me in.
I’m so screwed beyond reason.
Jax pulls away before I have a chance to process how good his touch feels. “You ask me to pretend we never kissed, but I’m finding it pretty damn hard at the moment.”
“Because I bit your hand?”
“Because you’re looking at me like that’s exactly what you want.” His knuckles brush across my cheek.
My body comes alive like I touched an electric fence. “You need to stop.”
“The problem is I don’t want to anymore. Avoiding you is exhausting.” He tugs me into his firm body while his eyes search mine for permission.
My eyes flutter closed the moment his hand palms my cheek. His lips brush against mine, tentative and testing. The soft kiss isn’t what I’d expect from him; it’s shocking yet invigorating, making it impossible to resist. So much so, I forget about who we are and give in to the moment.
I sigh, offering him access to my mouth. His tongue teases mine. Our kiss intensifies and grows more passionate. Jax pulls me onto his lap, encouraging me to straddle him. His erection grows as I grind into him, failing to ease the ache inside of me. His kiss becomes more dominant. He fights back for control with his tongue while his hands grip my hips to the point of pain. Everything about the kiss begs me to submit to him. I groan as he nips at my bottom lip, tugging and sucking on the sensitive skin.
My mind becomes cloudy as we kiss. His hands grip my ass and tug me closer. A groan escapes his lips as he palms my ass, eliciting a shiver from me.
Our kiss is erotic and toxic, with a hint of chaos.
Jax moves onto my neck, leaving my lips swollen and throbbing from his assault. A ringing phone sounds over our heavy breathing, reminding me of everything wrong with this scenario.
I still, no longer rubbing into him like I want to give his dick a ride. My cheeks flush as I climb off him and stand on shaky legs, pressing my hand to my lips.
“Shit!” He leans his head against the couch.
“What is happening to us?” I whisper to myself.
“The worst thing.”
A sharp pain echoes through my chest. “It’ll never happen again. It can’t happen again.”
His hands tug at his hair. “Fuck. That’s not what I meant.”
“Then why is it the worst thing?” I throw my arms in the air. “One second I think you like me, the next I’m wondering what’s going on with you.”
He shuts his eyes. “Liking you isn’t the problem.”
“Then what is the problem? Because ever since I met you, you’re always snippy with me. Even when I was helping Liam, you barely looked at me, barely spoke to me. And now you’re acting nicer, and I have no clue what to do with that either.”
“You don’t get it. Being normal with you threatens everything I’ve set up for myself.”
“There’s nothing wrong with normal.”
“For people like me, it is. I can’t have that kind of lifestyle.”
“Because of your job?”
“No. Because I’m an arsehole who doesn’t deserve hope. It’s cruel for both of us.”
“Everyone deserves hope.” My heart cracks as Jax looks at me with the most pained face.
“Not those without a future.” Jax rises from the couch and enters my personal bubble again. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head before stepping away. “You deserve moments worthy of buying a snow globe, not ones tainted with sadness and regret.”
He steps away, but I clutch onto his hand, not letting him go. “No. You stay right here and tell me what you mean. I’m done with the doom and gloom attitude and half-cloaked statements.”