Within minutes, I’m packed. I drag the suitcase down the ladder, careful not to trip and fall. If the guys were here, they’d grab it for me. And they’d make it look completely effortless to just toss it up to the loft or haul it back down.
I look out the window, down the hill to their cabin and a twinge of sadness blooms up into a billowing cloud inside. A tear slips down my cheek, but I whisk it way with the back of my hand. I’ll miss them more than they will ever know. But I can’t stay. I can’t let myself become this woman.
Keys in hand, I drag my belongings out to my car and take one last look at the alternate life I could’ve led before me. I imagine how this all could have played out. I mean, sure, I’d be happy, but happiness isn’t the end all be all. Sometimes you have to sacrifice happiness for a practical, stable life.
I hop in the car and slam the door hard behind me. The engine roars to life loudly and I pull out of the driveway. My Christmas music blasts loudly in my speakers, but I shut it off. It’s the last thing I want to hear right now. I drive past the guy’s cabin. I drive down the road and out toward the winding mountain drive.
Pulling a breath deep in my lungs, I turn my wheel, pulling out onto the main road and drive away. The rumbling sound in the car confuses me. Is there something wrong with my vehicle? It’s not that old, so there shouldn’t be.
It gets louder and the steering wheel shakes. Suddenly I realize it’s not the car. A white waterfall of snow crashes down over me, my airbag explodes against my face and my head snaps against it. My glasses snap in half and fall off my face. Rocks smash against the roof and snow crashes over me like a tidal wave, sweeping up the car and sliding it to the edge of the road right to the guardrail. My head smacks against the side window, hard and I feel a warm trickle run down my face.
I’m going to be pushed over the edge! I shriek but no one can hear me. Snow covers my car, burying me inside. Burying me alive. And the worst part is, no one will even know I’m gone.
This can’t be how I die. Why did I ever leave? My heart is sick with regret. My vision narrows, blurring at the edges and moving inward. I made the biggest mistake of my life and now it’s probably going to cost me my life.
“Hardy! Owen!” I call out, but it’s no use.
Suddenly I feel fuzzy. My car is so cozy. So warm. I blink, fighting my sliding eyelids, trying to stay awake, but the feeling is too powerful. My heavy lids finally slide closed and my head tilts as the world of white surrounding my car fades to black.
11
Hardy
The front door to the cabin gives a soft but distinctive click that wakes me. I sit up in bed and glance to my left to see a blank spot where Mary was. I imagine she’s heading to her cabin to write. I know she knows better than to go hiking out in the woods again after what happened last time.
Rolling all the way over to the edge of the bed, I lie back down and throw the blankets up over my shoulder, but it’s no use. I can’t ignore it. Not even for a second longer.
I have to piss.
Sighing, I silently curse Mary and hop out onto the cold floor. My bladder constricts and I rush to the bathroom to relieve myself. Once I’m done, there’s no point in trying to get any more sleep. The frigid air has me wide awake now. I might as well get some clothes on and make a fire. Besides, yesterday was fun. And last night was fucking amazing. But if we keep playing in the snow all the time, we’re never going to get this last logging job of the year done before our deadline.
I head to my bedroom and quickly find something to cover my nudity. With some clothes to keep the frosty air off my family jewels, I head out into the main space and work on getting a fire going. I’m not proud of how much paper I need to burn in order to get the wood to catch, but for some reason, it’s just not working for me today.
I probably need coffee. Staying up all night drinking rum and fucking the sexiest, sweetest, prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on has a way of zapping my energy and making me a bit foggy. I put on a pot and breathe the fresh brew deep into my lungs as it percolates.