Try foreplay with ice.
Kiss a foreigner.
Do karaoke while drinking.
Try new food.
Go skydiving.
Watch porn.
Play strip poker.
Get tied up.
Be blindfolded.
Come from oral sex.
Try mirror sex.
Have sex in public.
Have sex against a wall.
Get high.
Have a quickie.
Have outdoor sex.
Kiss someone in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Experience multiple orgasms in one night.
Now I only need to do one last thing, probably one of the hardest tasks before I can start crossing items off my list.
Convince my dad to let me join him.
* * *
“I have a few rules before you join the tour. If you break them, I’ll book you a seat on the next flight back to Italy.” My dad taps away on his iPad, taking up his usual spot on our living room couch.
“I know you’re a celebrity with the engineers, but when you call it a tour, you make it seem like you’re a rock star.”
“Famous among the nerds, I love it.” He does a rock symbol with his hands that should never be reproduced again. “Anyway, the first rule is that I want you to try your best to stay away from the racers. I mean it, because they tend to have questionable intentions. Two: you need to check in with me daily so I can be sure you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. And last but not least, stay out of trouble. Say them back to me.”
“You’re getting old, needing all this repetition.”
“Just because I have gray hair doesn’t mean I’m old.” He runs a hand through his thick strands.
My dad can be described as anything but old and frumpy, unfortunately for me because he’s single, and the ladies do sure try to mingle. Women flock toward him like his aura says money and good times.
“No, but the fact that you have more rules than a private school handbook kills your young silver fox vibe.”
“Please follow the rules. That’s all I ask of you this summer.”
My dad loves rules because he fears I’ll end up like my mom. We don’t talk about her much since she left us soon after she had me, deciding she wanted to save under-developed countries. The idea of diapers and baby bottles weighed her down and cramped the carefree lifestyle she loves. Nowadays, my mom lives her best life in Africa with her new boyfriend, who is five years older than me.