Realization dawns on me when his eyes dart away from me. I try to backpedal. “I didn’t mean to bring that up.”
He focuses on the Eiffel Tower in front of us. “I know. But it happens. It’s not like I want to be some irritable asshole who lets one comment taint my mood. But in the end, you’re right. I shouldn’t be like this, but I am. Because, sure, my parents have the best marriage, but they have a son with the worst. So it doesn’t matter what we grew up with when Lukas lives a daily nightmare.”
“Have you talked to your brother about this? Based on what you’ve told me, it seems like he loved Johanna. I wouldn’t count that as the worst marriage.” I can’t help but wonder if Liam paints a worse picture in his mind about how his brother copes.
“Even if it wasn’t the worst, it didn’t have a good ending. Hell, it shouldn’t have ended, period. And no, I don’t talk to my brother as much anymore. At least not like before.”
“Then who are you to assume he lives this terrible life? He has two beautiful daughters from the photos you’ve shown me. Johanna may not be alive, but the memory of her continues in her kids.”
Liam’s eyes appear glassy as he turns his head toward me. “I don’t know…”
“You’re right. You don’t know.” I clutch his hand in mine and look him in the eyes. “It’s okay to stop torturing yourself over an idea of how he’s living. Maybe you should ask him instead of hiding.”
“It’s easy for someone to give advice when they haven’t experienced it.”
I scoff. “It’s anything but easy to confront you about this. Easy would be to not mention anything. To sit back, enjoy our limited time together, and take off into the Italian sunset when all is said and done.”
“Then, why do it?” His eyes hold mine captive.
I swallow back my nerves, wanting to say the words before I lose the courage. “Because I care about you. Whenever you mention your brother, you get this wounded look in your eyes. The tragedy in Johanna’s death wasn’t only her dying. It was also you losing part of yourself to compensate for the emptiness of losing a best friend.”
“I think you missed your calling in psychology,” Liam grumbles.
I let out a soft laugh. “Nope. My calling was to end up here all along, ready to kick your ass into gear. You’ve been on more podiums with me around than last year. You’re welcome, by the way.”
Liam shoots me a beaming smile that I feel all the way to the deepest parts of my heart. “You, Sophie Marie Mitchell, are right where you belong. Screw accounting, you’re too hot to sit in a cubicle all day.”
Leave it to Liam to go from somber to humorous in one sitting. I let him get away with his diversion, content on enjoying our happy hour together.
We sit together and people-watch, making up ridiculous stories about tourists and locals alike. He sips his wine, bringing my attention to his lips wrapped around the rim of the glass. The same lips I want kissing me again.
I drain the remaining contents of my glass in a couple of swallows.
“Easy there.” His gravelly voice makes me clench my thighs.
And then I remember my saving grace. The whole reason Liam and I got into this mess together, the start of a relationship I could never prepare for.
I pull out the Fuck It list from my pocket and assess the deeds I can do. “I want to plan what to do next.”
His eyes darken. I review some of the items, wondering what I can choose by myself.
Liam grabs the list from my hands yet again. “The whole point isn’t to plan every little detail. I think I’ll choose this time.”
Goodbye control, catch you later.
“Found one. Kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower.” Liam clasps my hand, pulling me in flush against his body while strong hands hold me close.
I push away from his chest to look him in the eyes. “What are you doing? We can’t kiss here. We’re in public! That’s not what friends with benefits do. They keep it exclusive to specific domains like friends in the outside world and benefits in the bedroom.”
His lips twitch at my rambling. “If you keep benefits to the bedroom, then you’re doing it all wrong.” His deep voice goes straight to my core, a dull throb betraying how much I want him.
“We need clear rules and expectations of what friends-with-benefits means. I think we both have different ideas.”
“Fuck rules and plans. Stop thinking so damn much.”
Liam doesn’t give me a second more to mull over our status because his lips find mine while his hand cups my face. The fresh taste of white wine raids my mouth and runs across my tongue as his lips claim mine. His lips possess me and control my brain and body, bending me to his will as I become putty in his hands.
Tongues clash, sending a shiver down my spine. My toes curl inside of my sneakers at the sensation building inside of me. A soft moan escapes as his hands run across my back, initiating another round of sparks across my skin.