“She was my partner for my freshman year science class. I chose her because I knew she was smart, and I thought she could help me pass. And I did just that, all thanks to her. But we started hanging out a lot together. She and my brother met, and they had this connection I can’t explain. But Lukas is a few years older than me, so he didn’t want to make a move on a freshman when he was about to graduate. Johanna and I got really close—me because she wasn’t interested in hooking up and Johanna because she enjoyed my company. So we can fast-forward through years of friendship. Once Johanna and I graduated, my brother made his move and they dated before getting married. They eventually had Elyse, my oldest niece. Those two couldn’t help getting pregnant with Kaia right after Elyse. But during the labor process…” I swallow back the bile rising in my throat. “There were a shit ton of complications that happened and she didn’t make it.” Wetness pools in my eyes, but I blink back the looming tears.
“Oh, Liam. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how tough that was and how heartbreaking it is to lose someone you care for in such a sudden way. You and your family have been through so much.” Sophie wraps herself around me.
“I feel disgusted with myself that I can’t move on. My brother is doing fine, and my parents are always strong, but me… I hate parts of myself. So instead of embracing all of me, I don’t. I lost my best friend that night. But also, I forfeited part of myself to survive the pain.”
“You can always fight to get it back. You’re not a quitter, and one day you’ll wear your hurt like a badge of honor. That’s when you know you can heal and move on. Everyone handles their pain and sadness differently so those who don’t accept you don’t matter because acceptance includes all the parts, not only the desirable ones.”
“Easy for you to say. I admitted I deceive others and you’re here boosting my ego.” I’d laugh if my throat didn’t feel constricted.
“That’s because you’re the only one losing when you deflect and hide. If you decide not to get close to others, that’s your choice. I’ll keep living my life with the bits and pieces you share. But the real question is, can you live with your ruse for the rest of your life? If you can, then you’re the most beautiful liar I know because the prettiest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.”
Damn.Sophie, despite her limited life experiences, has a shit ton of wisdom packed in such a small body.
She keeps going. “But remember this. I want to get to know all of you, including the parts you’re too scared to share. I want to learn about the man no one else knows. So give me every part of you because I’m not here to piece you back together. I like you too much, just the way you are, broken parts and all.”
Fuck.Her words fill me with hope I didn’t think was possible.
“I suck at getting close to people.”
She squeezes my hand, sending an electric current up my arm, replacing my sadness with lust. “You’re already getting close to me, you fool.”
Well, shit. I totally am, and I’m not the slightest bit sorry. Spending time with Sophie has been the best damn part of this season.
I rub my thumb across her knuckles, craving her touch like a junkie craving his next hit, eliciting a sigh from her. “Not to deflect or anything, but why do you keep ignoring our chemistry?”
“Because I don’t want to ruin something good for something temporary.” She pushes herself up and away from me. Her hand lingers on my chest, the warmth from her palm radiating through my shirt.
“I’ll take anything from you.” It’s sad to admit how I’m not joking.
“That’s my fear with someone like you. You take and take until I have nothing left to give. You’d be easy to fall in love with until you walk away, breaking my heart in the process.” She whispers the words like saying them lower makes them less scary.
Her dropping the L-word fills me with dread.
“I can’t promise anything close to love, but I can promise you endless orgasms, friendship, and mindless sex that’ll leave you buzzing from your head to the tips of your toes.” I offer her a sly grin, propping myself up on my elbows.
Like always, Sophie does something shocking. She leans in and presses her lips against mine. The kiss feels soft at first, her wariness evident.
Holy shit, Sophie is kissing me.
My instincts take over as I kiss her back, no longer in shock at her move. One of my hands wraps around the back of her neck and holds her steady. My body sings at the contact, my tongue darting out to feel her plump lips.
I pull her on top of me while her tongue—that fucking tongue—probes mine and gives me access to her mouth. I could combust at her touch. An embarrassing yet truthful admission nonetheless because kissing Sophie makes me question what the fuck I’ve been doing before. Scratch that—kissing Sophie feels like everything.
She gasps as my teeth tug on her bottom lip. My dick throbs in my pants, clearly not getting the memo that this is just a kiss. I find controlling myself around Sophie a hopeless cause. Our tongues test each other while my hand wraps itself around her soft hair, tugging on the strands I’ve wanted wrapped around my hands for months.
A rush of desire nearly knocks me out. Sophie gains the confidence to explore my body, the feeling of her hands dragging against my chest and arms nearly doing me in.
I roll us, pushing her back against the grass as my body splays atop of hers. Our lips never break contact. Fuck, I love the taste of her, the pressure of her body against me, the whole damn thing. Her fingers graze my stubble before she places her hand on my face.
My body pushes into hers, her moan making my dick pulse as it rubs against her center. I love the sound of her heavy breathing, showing me she feels as affected and helpless as I do from our connection—both victims of our stupid game.
I break away from the kiss to get a look at her. Regret fills me instantly as the haziness in her eyes dissipates and her mind turns back on.
She coughs before recovering. “Uh, we better get going. It’s late.”
I groan as I roll off of her, standing before helping her up. We both pretend nothing happened and return back to normal as we gather our belongings. Well, we act as normal as friends who kiss like lovers and share the same desperation for one another. Sophie and I put on the best damn show with us pretending to fight our attraction for no good reason except for her thinking she’ll catch feelings instead of orgasms.
Fuck feelings. They leave a bad taste in my mouth. Sophie needs to be convinced how feelings are meant for good boys who will cherish her for everything she’s worth. I can only promise what I can offer with my career and my past. A future isn’t guaranteed, but I swear the only one she’ll think of is me doing every naughty item on that list to her.
It’s enough for me. But the real question is if it’s enough for her.