Eridan stared at the high ceiling, his heart beating so fast he felt nearly dizzy. “Master?” he whispered shakily, unable to believe what he was hearing. What Castien was implying.
“You are mine,” Castien said, sucking a hickey into his neck. “You will always be only mine. I will kill anyone who touches you.”
Eridan shivered. Coming from any other man, that would have sounded like melodramatic exaggeration. Coming from Castien, it was just a statement of fact.
“If you didn’t kill Tethru yourself, I would have done it anyway.” Castien nuzzled against his collarbone, nipping at the skin there. “Therefore, your guilt over his death is not only foolish, but misplaced and irrational. He was dead from the moment he touched you.”
“This is still hardly a love confession, either,” Eridan said dryly, not knowing whether to laugh or be horrified. His heart felt like it was about to burst.
Castien lifted his head and gazed at him. “I… I’m trying, Eridan,” he said, his voice quiet. “Frankly, I am not sure what love is. But you are the only thing—the only person—I care about deeply. The only person more important to me than my Order.” He smiled ruefully. “Which is not something I have ever thought I would say. The Castien Idhron from five years ago would have thought someone had brainwashed me into this foolishness.” He stroked Eridan’s cheek with his thumb. “Maybe you have, and I just have not noticed. I’m rather irrational and short-sighted when it comes to you.” He grimaced a little. “My blocking your memories of your real name was proof enough of it.”
Eridan swallowed the sudden tightness in his throat. “So you didn’t do it because of the Order?”
Castien let out a humorless laugh. “The Order was the last thing I thought about when I did it. I was…” He met Eridan’s eyes. “For years, without your knowledge, I was preparing you to claim your birthright. But I was the one not prepared to let you go when the time came.” A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I know I should not have done it, but I’m not perfect, Eridan. And fear was the one emotion I had never experienced until I realized you would stop being my apprentice—that you would stop being mine. I was irrational. Rash.”
Eridan blinked a few times, feeling stunned. He hadn’t even thought Castien could feel fear, much less fear over losing him—and admit it.
“All right,” Eridan said, clearing his throat. “You’re forgiven for that. But if you mess with my memories again, I…” He paused, trying to think of a suitable threat. “I’ll never forgive you again,” he finished lamely.
To his surprise, Castien seemed to take the threat seriously. He simply nodded.
Eridan looked at him, warmth filling his insides as it hit him anew that Castien really had feelings for him. That Castien needed him, cared for him deeply, and wanted him around, always.
Eridan smiled helplessly. “Admit it: you totally checked your mind for any outside influence when you first noticed those icky emotions.”
Castien averted his gaze.
“You did!” Eridan laughed, slinging his arms around his neck and pressing his mouth against Castien’s. “You’re so ridiculous, Master. Only you would think having feelings isn’t normal.”
Castien kissed back for a moment before pulling back to look Eridan in the eyes. “So will you come home with me?”
Eridan stared at him. “You were actually serious about it?”
“Of course.” Castien’s expression was somewhat uncomfortable. “The castle is too quiet without you. I don’t… I suppose I have become used to your chattering over the years.”
Eridan cocked his head to the side and smirked teasingly. “Are you saying you missed me terribly, Master?”
Castien’s expression became rather pinched. But the denial Eridan had half expected didn’t come.
“Yes,” Castien said tersely. “I missed you terribly. Are you happy now, you insolent brat?”
Eridan’s smirk softened into a smile. So maybe Castien could learn to communicate his feelings.
Leaning in, he gave him a chaste kiss as a reward, which Castien immediately turned into a hard, greedy one, all tongue and want.
Sighing in pleasure, Eridan returned the kiss happily for a while.
When they finally parted, he pushed Castien onto his back and stretched on top of him, relishing the way their bodies fit together, their minds as entwined as their limbs. Putting his head on Castien’s chest, he breathed in his familiar scent, feeling achingly, toe-curlingly happy.
He murmured, “Can I even be a member of the Order again when I’m such a public figure?”
Castien made a thoughtful sound, running his fingers through Eridan’s hair. “There is no precedent for a member of a royal family being a member of the Order, but there is no rule against it: neither in the Order rules nor in the Calluvian laws. It will most likely cause a scandal, but your reputation is not exactly good right now as it is.”