What a sad thing this family was. The Queen and the King-Consort weren’t inherently bad people. But they weren’t good parents, either.
“I told you, Tamirs,” the King-Consort said hoarsely. “I told you.”
Seyn didn’t know what he meant, though he could make a guess from the straight, stiff way the Queen held herself. This clearly had been a subject of contention between the royal couple.
“You should be grateful for what I did,” the Queen said tightly. “You were blessed with high intelligence, aesthetically pleasing appearance, exceptional physical strength, leadership qualities—”
“You have no trouble loving Harht for just being him,” Ksar said in a very wry tone that about broke Seyn’s heart. “Harry can be forgiven for wanting something for himself, for falling in love with a member of a pre-TNIT civilization, someone of no royal blood, but Heaven forbid if I overstep a little. But then again, Harht is the son, not the heir. He deserves happiness.”
The Queen looked vaguely sick now. And guilty, as she should be. The double standards were really staggering. Seyn couldn’t understand how it was possible to favor one child over the others and treat them so differently. Sure, he knew Harry was the only naturally born child in the family, but it was hardly an excuse. Seyn’s mothers loved him unconditionally despite not giving birth to him.
“I would have understood if it was just me, Mother,” Ksar said in a mocking undertone. “But you barely treated Sanyash any better than me. She used to ask me when we were little why you never hugged her like you hugged Harht. We would have likely hated Harht if he weren’t such a disgustingly kind, naive kid who loved everyone.” A sardonic smile touched Ksar’s lips. “No thanks to you.”
“Son,” the King-Consort said, but Ksar cut him off.
“I’m not interested in your apologies,” he said, still looking at his mother. “I need neither your pity nor your love. Just let me have what I want. I’m not asking for anything more.”
There was a long silence.
And then, the Queen nodded, looking weary beyond her years. “If there are problems, you will have my support in the Council,” she said tonelessly.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Ksar said, his voice all business. “We will take our leave now. Good night.”
Seyn followed him out of the Queen’s office.
They didn’t speak until after they reached Ksar’s rooms.
“I used her guilt to get what I want,” Ksar said without looking at him, loosening his cravat with jerky, angry movements of his fingers.
“Okay,” Seyn said softly.
“Stop pitying me.”
“I don’t pity you,” Seyn said, knocking Ksar’s hands away and untying his cravat. “Compassion isn’t pity.” He met Ksar’s eyes. “You can look into my mind, you know. I don’t mind.”
Ksar looked at him intently, his gaze searching, but he didn’t delve into his mind. He must have seen everything he needed on Seyn’s face, because his shoulders were no longer quite as stiff and his face wasn’t a blank mask anymore.
Seyn unfastened Ksar’s jacket and pulled it off. Ksar’s shirt followed suit, leaving him just in his dark pants.
Slipping out of his own jacket, Seyn took Ksar’s hand and pulled him toward the bed. Ksar let him, watching him with the same weird, intense expression that wasn’t quite desire.
Ksar didn’t resist when Seyn pushed him to lie on his back, but he did tense a little when Seyn laid his head on his shoulder and slung an arm around his middle.
“I thought we were going to have sex,” Ksar said dryly.
“We will,” Seyn said, pressing his lips against Ksar’s bare shoulder and breathing in his scent. Fuck, he’d missed him. It had been a long month. While he hadn’t exactly been wasting away, he’d felt…anchorless, as if he’d been suddenly thrown into a strange, deep sea he had no clue how to navigate. He’d hated it. “But I’m in need of a cuddle first. Indulge me.”
“I don’t need a cuddle.”
“Is there something wrong with your hearing? I said I needed a cuddle, not you. If this relationship is going to work, you’ll have to put up with it from time to time.”
Ksar sighed, but he seemed amused rather than annoyed. “You’re entirely transparent.”
“Good,” Seyn said, tightening his arm around Ksar and nearly moaning in contentment; it felt so good. Why hadn’t they done this before? It felt almost as good as sex. Physical touch was really underrated. “I’m all for transparency and honesty in a relationship.”
“Is that a warning?” Ksar murmured against his ear.
Smiling crookedly, Seyn looked at him. “If you need one.”
Ksar gazed at him in silence, their faces so close Seyn could feel Ksar’s every breath on his cheek.
“No,” Ksar said at last. “I don’t need such a warning.”
Seyn’s smile softened. “Good,” he said again, burying a hand in Ksar’s hair and pulling him down for a shallow kiss. It wasn’t meant to be passionate, but it was so satisfying on so many levels that Seyn found himself breathless and eager for more.