Ignoring the rush of ugly possessiveness, Ksar took Seyn’s chin in his other hand and made Seyn look at him. “Forget about them. If you say yes, I’ll handle it.”
Seyn let out a laugh, sounding a little hysterical. “Are you out of your mind? It would be political suicide for you! You’d lose all credibility if you suddenly say ‘Oops, I’ve changed my mind’ after the Council gave you the permission to break your bond to me, something that just isn’t done, amendment to the Bonding Law or not. They would crucify you.”
“I can handle it,” Ksar repeated tersely. “You don’t need excuses if you want to say no.”
Seyn chuckled, running a hand over his face. “I can’t just…” He looked at Ksar with something like frustration, vulnerability, and longing, all mixed in one. “What do you even feel for me? Lust doesn’t count.”
Ksar sneered a little. “Lust can be dealt with easily enough.”
Seyn just looked at him expectantly when that was all he said.
Sighing, Ksar rose to his feet and took the seat beside Seyn again.
He stared at the poisonous flowers, fighting the instinctive urge to deny having any feelings whatsoever.
“I’m not good at this,” he said, tugging at his cravat a little.
“I know,” Seyn said, very dryly.
Ksar shot him a sideways glare and found Seyn smiling. “I’m glad you find this amusing.”
“Sorry,” Seyn said, not sounding sorry at all. “Let’s hear your grand confession anyway.”
There was a faint look of skepticism on his face, as if he still didn’t believe Ksar was serious about wanting him. Such insecurity in someone so attractive made Ksar feel like a right bastard—that was entirely his doing, and no one else’s.
“I can’t do grand confessions,” Ksar said, letting his hand graze against Seyn’s knuckles. He heard Seyn’s breathing hitch and removed his hand before that could escalate. At this point Ksar was well aware that neither of them could think rationally if they got carried away, and it had been much too long since he’d last touched Seyn. They didn’t need distractions, not now.
“But I know what I want.” Ksar met Seyn’s gaze and held it. “I never really hated you, at least not like you hated me. Even when you irritated me, I wanted to have you. I don’t mean just lust. I liked the idea of you being mine—being at my side, in my bed, taking my name, and becoming my King-Consort at some point.”
A faint flush appeared on Seyn’s cheekbones. But the only thing he said was, “Continue.”
“But I knew I could never really have you, not with the way things were. A relationship can’t be built on lies and manipulations. So it was…frustrating. The situation made me angry and I took out that anger on you.” Ksar averted his eyes. “That’s not an excuse, I know. It’s the truth. All those offensive things I said, when I insulted your intelligence or your social conduct, it was…” Ksar grimaced. “Part of it was that I was trying to convince myself that you weren’t all that attractive.” He snorted. “Though I did like making you fume—you do have a singular talent for making me act like an ass.”
“Is that supposed to be your grand confession?” Seyn said, but Ksar could see his lips twitching.
Ksar met his smiling eyes and felt his heart thud almost painfully against his ribs. He did like making Seyn fume. But it seemed he liked making him smile even more.
“I can get back on my knees if it’s not grand enough for you,” he said dryly.
Seyn grinned, glancing around the garden. “I think once is sufficient or all these people hiding behind those bushes might actually have a heart attack.”
Ksar made a face. At least it was unlikely that they had been overheard.
“So is that a yes?” he said.
Seyn licked his lips. “I’m…” He sighed, looking at Ksar with a pinched expression. “Fuck it, I guess I’m that crazy.”
Ksar’s felt his throat constrict. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how much he wanted this—wanted Seyn to choose him, freely.
Aloud, he said, “There’s nothing crazy about choosing the Crown Prince of the Second Grand Clan of Calluvia over an ambassador of some irrelevant planet.”
As expected, Seyn gave him an exasperated look. “It was probably too much to hope your humility would last.” But he sounded fond, and the smile on his lips told Ksar everything he needed.
“Let’s not pretend you don’t like it,” Ksar said, taking Seyn’s hand again and brushing his lips against his bare wrist. He could actually hear the scandalized gasps from the direction of the trees, but his eyes were only on Seyn’s.
“Ksar,” Seyn murmured. His gaze was already slightly unfocused, the longing in them mirroring the one under Ksar’s skin. “People are watching us.”
“Let them,” Ksar said, kissing his wrist again. “They will find out soon enough.”