“Answer me, Harht.”
Harry flinched, a headache splitting his head. “Stop, it hurts,” he thought at Ksar.
Immediately, the pressure receded, but Ksar continued glaring at him.
“I’ll explain later,” Harry told Ksar telepathically. “I promise.”
“Not later. Now. Get rid of the human or I’m dragging you out of here by force.”
Harry gave Ksar a pleading look, but his brother was unmoved.
Sighing, Harry turned to Adam. “I have to go back to your flat with my brother,” he said, looking down at their tangled fingers. Adam’s fingers were so much darker than his. They looked almost brown against his fair skin. His hand also dwarfed Harry’s. It made Harry feel strange. He wanted to hide his hand inside Adam’s. He wanted to hide himself under Adam’s skin and stay there forever. “He wants to see Seyn. They’re engaged,” he clarified in case Adam had forgotten, playing with Adam’s fingers.
“Harry,” Adam said.
Biting his bottom lip, Harry lifted his eyes to Adam’s. Adam’s face was oddly still and blank. “You’re not leaving,” he stated. “Are you?”
Ksar cleared his throat behind Harry, impatient.
Harry ignored him, his gaze locked with Adam’s.
He wanted to tell Adam he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would be waiting for him when Adam returned home this evening.
But… could he give such a promise? By the Calluvian law, he wasn’t free to do as he wished. He wouldn’t be allowed to stay on a planet like Earth. Pre-TNIT planets were off-limits for living, and only occasional visits were allowed. The law prohibited interfering with the development of young civilizations or sharing superior knowledge and technology with them. Harry understood why the law was necessary. Before the law had been introduced, there had been many catastrophic precedents in the past, with societies unable to handle technological advantages wisely. So yes, Harry did understand.
It didn’t mean he was okay with it.
“I,” Harry said. “I…” He searched for something to say, for something to reassure Adam—both of them—that it wasn’t the last time they were seeing each other. But he glanced at Ksar’s stony face and couldn’t think of anything that would make it possible for him to stay on Earth. Ksar might love him, but Harry didn’t have much hope for convincing his brother to help him. Ksar would never understand. Ksar would likely grab him and Seyn and return them home where mind adepts would restore Harry’s bond to Leylen’shni’gul.
Basically, it was hopeless.
“I,” Harry croaked, his throat thick with some awful emotion he couldn’t quite name as he looked into Adam’s dark eyes.
“Harry, enough,” Ksar said, his tone steely. “Let’s go.”
Harry swallowed, looking at Ksar’s impatient, unimpressed face. He looked back at Adam, his vision swimming. Panic rose swiftly, threatening to choke him. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.
“Baby,” Adam said, his grim expression shifting into one of concern. “Are you okay?”
A high sound tore out of Harry’s throat and he crashed his face into Adam’s chest, clinging to him with all his might, silent tears streaking his cheeks and wetting Adam’s shirt. He couldn’t breathe.
Distantly, he could hear Ksar’s voice, but it was like white noise. All he could hear was Adam’s low, soothing voice, whispering endearments into his ear as Adam’s hands stroked his back, trying to calm him down.
Harry tried to calm down but couldn’t, because—because he finally truly realized this was the last time Adam was holding him, the last time he would hear Adam’s voice, the last time he would breathe in Adam’s scent or feel the strength of Adams body around him, against him.
He was hit with another wave of crushing panic, and he clung harder to Adam, never wanting to let go.
It took Harry a while to realize he was muttering something. “I don’t wanna go, don’t make me, I need you—don’t make me go—I need you—”
“Harht,” Ksar’s voice filled his head. “Cease this immediately. You’re speaking in Calluvian.”
Harry shut his mouth but couldn’t calm down no matter how hard he tried. His heart beat fast in his chest, his fingers clenched in Adam’s shirt, unwilling to let go. He wasn’t letting go. He wasn’t. He would never.
“Babe,” Adam said, threading his fingers through Harry’s hair. “Look at me. Please. Come on, show me your pretty eyes.”
Harry let Adam lift his face from Adam’s chest. He could barely see Adam through the blur of tears, so it took him a few moments to realize Adam was staring at him oddly.
“Harry,” he said. “Your tears are pink.”
Harry blinked, trying to understand why it was significant. Behind him, he heard Ksar sigh.
“Human tears are colorless, Harht,” Ksar’s voice sounded in his head. “Good job. Good luck explaining it.”
But Harry couldn’t bring himself to care. He could feel nothing but the crushing, aching longing and the sense of impending loss.
“What in the world…” Adam murmured, bewilderment all over his face as he touched Harry’s cheek to wipe his tears. “Are you bleeding somewhere?”