Adam told himself it was the language barrier. Harry simply had trouble expressing himself and didn’t understand how his words sounded.
“I’m glad our friendship makes you happy,” Adam said, kissing Harry on the temple. “I get what you mean: it’s rare to find a person you fit so well with.”
Harry nodded. “Thank you,” he said, tugging at Adam’s t-shirt. “For putting up with my weirdness,” he clarified with a sheepish smile, tugging at Adam’s t-shirt again.
“What are you doing?” Adam said. “Is my t-shirt offending you or something?”
“I like when you wear dress shirts and button-downs—I can just unbutton the top buttons and put my face there and smell you.”
Adam stared at him. Of course he had noticed Harry’s habit of undoing the top button of his shirt when they hugged, but he’d always thought it was just one of Harry’s weird quirks.
Harry scrunched his nose up and laughed. “Did I say something weird again? I said something weird, didn’t I?”
Christ, he was so fucking cute. Adam both hated and loved Harry’s total lack of filter.
“You like how I smell?” he said, his voice huskier than he would have liked.
Harry nodded, frowning a little. “At first I thought it was your cologne. I tried it, but it doesn’t smell the same. It’s your skin. Smells really, really good.” He looked at Adam’s t-shirt with frustration before sighing and putting his head on Adam’s shoulder with a pout. It would have been adorable if Adam wasn’t busy trying to control his body. He didn’t want to imagine Harry rubbing his face against his bare chest, nuzzling into him like a kitten, then kissing his skin, licking his nipples—
Adam closed his eyes, trying to think of the most disgusting, hideous things to suppress his arousal.
“Harry,” he said.
“Mmm?” Harry said, pressing his nose against the side of Adam’s neck.
Adam gritted his teeth as Harry’s lips rubbed against his skin. His cock started hardening, despite his best efforts not to react.
“Haz, enough,” he managed, staring at the hideous painting on the wall.
“But why?”
“Because I’m only human.”
Harry lifted his head, looking at him in bemusement.
And fuck, Adam couldn’t do it anymore.
“I’m gay, Harry,” he said, pushing Harry away and getting to his feet. “Don’t you fucking get it? I’m gay. You’re an attractive guy.”
Harry stared at him, blinking, looking lost.
Fucking hell. How could Haz be so naive? Was the possibility of Adam wanting him so far-fetched that it hadn’t even occurred to him? It had never been more obvious that Harry simply didn’t even see him as a sexual being. And damn, was it a blow to his ego…Adam was willing to admit he had always been a bit cocky. Not to sound conceited, but he knew how he looked. He’d never had trouble getting anyone he wanted—except for this weird, ridiculous, charming boy he had actual feelings for. Adam was pretty sure there was irony in this, somewhere.
“I...” Harry said, his eyes wide. “You can’t—You know I don’t—You know I can’t—It’s not because you—”
Adam chuckled. “It’s not me, it’s you? Don’t bother, Haz. I get it.” He turned away and went to his room.
Half an hour later, there was a tentative knock on the door.
“Go away, Harry,” Adam said, without opening his eyes. Jake was right. He should put some distance between him and Harry, draw some healthy boundaries.
“Adam, please,” Harry said.
He sounded sad—
No, damn you. Healthy boundaries.
“Can I come in?” Harry said. His voice cracked. “Please.”
Fuck.
Adam got off the bed and went to the door. He didn’t open it, though, because he knew one look at Harry’s upset face would destroy his resolve.
“Harry, go to bed,” he said. “We’ll talk tomorrow when we are both calmer.”
“I’m calm,” Harry claimed, sounding anything but.
“You’re not,” Adam said.
“Okay, I’m not, but I won’t be calmer if I have to wait until morning to talk to you.”
Adam sighed and slid down to sit on the floor, his back to the door. “All right, talk. Make it short, though.”
“Like this? Through the door?”
“Yes,” Adam said succinctly. Harry didn’t need to know how much power his face had over him. He had some pride left.
He heard Harry sit down on the other side of the door.
For a long moment, there was only silence.
“I’m sorry,” Harry said at last. “I’m sorry for being an idiot and not realizing how uncomfortable I was making you.”
Adam frowned. That wasn’t what he expected.
“I’m just,” Harry said. “I’ve been kind of sheltered all my life. I have never been so close to... unmarried sexually active people much. So it had never been an issue before, you know? That’s why it hadn’t occurred to me that you could be... attracted to me.” There was still a note of bemusement in Harry’s voice, as if he couldn’t completely believe it.
Despite himself, Adam smiled. Harry was so odd. Hadn’t he seen himself in the mirror? Sometimes he really was like an alien, because his standards seemed so different from normal.