Nate swallowed.
He didn’t have an answer. He honestly didn’t know how to answer—how to justify his irresponsible behavior.
And he knew it was irresponsible. They had been ridiculously lucky that no one had come across them so far and the gossip hadn’t spread through the entire building. No one would ever take him seriously as a game designer if it became known that he was the boss’s fucktoy. His career would be ruined before it even properly started. Even if he managed to get employed by another company in a different city even, the rumors would follow him everywhere. The video gaming industry was very close-knit, with people changing studios very often, so the rumors about his misconduct would be everywhere. He might as well move to Siberia.
“I…” He bit his lip, unable to meet his sister’s eyes. “I just… I can’t stop. I can’t, okay?”
She sighed. “You’re an idiot. It can only end very badly for you, you know that, right?”
Nate smiled humorlessly. “Yeah. I know.” Either Raffaele would get tired of him or they would get caught. He couldn’t think of any other outcome. He had accepted by now that he wasn’t getting tired of Raffaele.
“Is he that good?”
Nate shrugged, looking anywhere but at his sister. “I just can’t think when he’s close. But I can’t stand not having him close, either.”
He could feel Maya’s troubled look with his skin.
“You know what?” she said at last. “Go get changed. We’re going out tonight. You will pick up a pretty girl—or a handsome guy. Have sex with someone other than him.”
Running a hand through his hair, Nate pulled a face. “I’m tired, Maya. I’m not really in the mood.”
She snorted. “You’re never tired for him. Stop whining and get dressed. Wear something good. We’re going out.”
“Come on, I have to go to work early tomorrow—”
“You’re young and healthy. You can function one day on four hours of sleep. Now get dressed. Or I’ll start thinking you have feelings for that asshole.”
That shut Nate up. Because—nope, he wasn’t going there. Just no.
It took him fifteen minutes to take a quick shower and get dressed in something decent. He yawned, studying himself in the mirror. He looked all right, but tired. He really was tired and not in the mood to get laid by some random person. The mere thought turned his stomach—because he didn’t like one-night stands. It had nothing to do with Raffaele, no matter what Maya might have implied.
“You ready?” Maya said.
Nate nodded with forced enthusiasm.
The club was just like any other club out there.
Nate suppressed a wince at the noise, the loud music causing a dull headache at the top of his forehead. All he wanted was sleep. Hooking up with someone was the last thing he wanted. But Maya was like a bulldog with a bone. She wouldn’t have let it go if he had just refused to go. She would have drawn all kinds of conclusions—the wrong conclusions.
“Smile,” Maya said. “Go get us drinks. Talk to people. Flirt. Live a little, come on!”
Sighing, Nate did as he was told. He went to the bar and ordered them drinks. He settled against the bar and people-watched. People sometimes came over and tried to pick him up. Women and men alike. The latter surprised him a little. Did he give off that vibe now?
The thought made him… not upset, exactly, but a little uneasy. Had he changed that fundamentally that people could tell just by looking at him?
“It’s pretty hot in here, right?” the guy—Arnold or something—said, trying to shout over the loud music. He was older and fairly attractive. “How about getting some fresh air at the back?” His flirtatious smile strongly hinted that he wanted to get more than just “fresh air.”
Nate gripped his drink harder. “I’m good, thanks,” he said, before gulping it down. The alcohol hit his system hard and fast, so fast that he felt nearly dizzy for a moment. Right. He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch and he was tired; of course the booze would affect him much faster than normal.
The guy said something again, but Nate could barely hear it over the music. “What?” he yelled.
Arnold leaned right to his ear and said, his breath tickling Nate’s ear, “I really want to suck your cock.”
Nate blinked a few times, his alcohol-addled brain struggling to keep up.
“Or you can suck mine,” the guy said with a leer, looking at his lips.
Nate felt nausea rise in his throat. He shook his head, dazed and confused. “No,” he said. Why was everything spinning? The alcohol shouldn’t have affected him so strongly, no matter how hungry and tired he was. Had his drink been spiked?
His anxiety rising, Nate tried to search the crowd for his sister, but he couldn’t find her in the sea of dancing people.