This Nick also had a horrible, terrible, no good effect on Tyler’s body. The hand on his lower back now seemed to scald him, his skin tingling despite the fabric separating it from Nick’s hand. It was just a Pavlovian conditioning at this point, Tyler was sure of it. His body associated Nick being an asshole with naked sexy times. Though, the mere fact that he wanted “naked sexy times” with another man was…a little unsettling.
Tyler chewed on his lip, unsure when he’d started wanting being naked with Nick as opposed to just wanting Nick’s cock.
Tyler eyed Nick warily, trying to understand. His gaze moved over Nick’s lean cheeks and strong jaw, over his firm, sensual lips as they curled a little to give Alex a fleeting smile.
Tyler wet his own lips and tore his gaze away.
What the fuck.
After a few minutes of telling himself that he hadn’t just ogled his best mate, Tyler looked back at Nick. Tyler’s gaze moved lower, to Nick’s thick neck, lingering on his Adam’s apple, then to his wide shoulders and muscular chest that looked downright obscene in that blue button-down. Nick’s shirt was so thin his muscles seemed ready to burst through the cotton. Tyler could even see Nick’s nipples. Nick should be arrested for public indecency. Seriously, what the fuck was this shit?
More than a little warm, Tyler looked away. Um, had he just ogled Nick again? No, of course not. It was the shirt. Anyone would look when Nick was wearing such a ridiculous shirt.
Relaxing a little, Tyler allowed himself to look at Nick again.
This time he stared at the veins on Nick’s forearms, then at his long, strong fingers wrapped around the glass.
The glass was lifted to Nick’s lips and Tyler watched helplessly as Nick’s Adam’s apple moved. It was oddly mesmerizing.
His mouth dry, Tyler accidentally glanced up and found his eyes locked with Nick’s—who had been apparently watching him.
Tyler flushed.
Nick’s gaze seemed to become sharper.
He leaned in and murmured, his lips almost brushing Tyler’s earlobe. “You all right? You look flushed.”
“Yes,” Tyler lied, absolutely mortified by how breathless he sounded. He wasn’t fucking all right. This shouldn’t be happening. When had it happened? When? Was this something new or had he just been too daft to notice it?
It doesn’t mean anything, Tyler told himself. It was natural that he would start finding Nick attractive in some sense. He saw Nick and he thought of sex. Being so close to Nick but not having Nick touch him sexually was clearly fucking with his head. That must be it. That was it.
He just needed to put some physical distance between them. Yep, distance sounded good.
Tyler forced himself to pull away. It was a lot harder than it should have been. “But maybe you’re right—I don’t feel so good,” he mumbled, avoiding Nick’s gaze. He strode away before Nick could say anything.
Finding the nearest loo, Tyler shut the door behind him and stared in the mirror. His face really was flushed, his eyes glassy. Fucking hell. He looked bloody high.
“I’m straight,” Tyler said. Saying it aloud didn’t help. It did nothing to kill the arousal buzzing under his skin. It did nothing to make him stop wanting.
Sliding down to the floor, Tyler wrapped his arms around his knees, put his head between them, and breathed.
He thought of his parents—both devoted Christians. He thought of what they would say if they found out he was actually a bigger disappointment than they thought. They’d never managed to hide how disappointed they were with his life choices. They’d never approved that he didn’t bother going to uni and getting a “real” job.
Wasted potential. Lack of ambition and drive. You’ll grow up one day, but it will be too late.
There were many other things they’d said behind his back, things Tyler couldn’t help but overhear, things that made him feel like the biggest waste of space. His relationship with his parents hadn’t been the same ever since he’d admitted to them that he’d been faking having faith. They already thought he was going to hell. He couldn’t even imagine the looks on their faces if they found out that he wanted to put his mouth on his best mate’s neck—and his mouth, and his cock, and his—
A hysterical laugh bubbled at the back of Tyler’s throat. It ripped out of him, a harsh sound that sounded a little broken. Tyler laughed, and laughed, and laughed, until his eyes were burning and he had to take deep, calming breaths so the tears wouldn’t spill.
Fucking pathetic.
He really was a loser, wasn’t he?
Chapter 14
He didn’t know how long he sat like that when the door behind him budged. “Tyler? You there?”
Springing to his feet, Tyler walked to the sink and splashed cool water over his flushed face.
Behind him, the door opened and closed. “You okay?”