“But not the other way round?”
“No. He wanted to. We tried, but I couldn’t relax,” Jamie murmured, even the tips of his ears red. “That’s why he called me frigid, I guess.”
“That’s bullshit,” Ryan said, recalling what his brother had once told him. “Nick told me many gay men actually don’t go all the way, sticking to blowjobs and handjobs. Not everyone likes it.”
Jamie shrugged again, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there. Ryan knew the only reason he was even talking about it was because he was drunk; normally Jamie was very private about his sex life—because apparently he didn’t have one. Not that Ryan was all that comfortable talking about Jamie’s sex life, but he couldn’t leave it at that. Jamie had enough insecurities thanks to his father; he didn’t need sexual insecurities on top of them.
“And you’re not a terrible kisser,” Ryan said.
Jamie’s eyes snapped to him, wide and confused.
“You’re not a good one, mind you. Your technique needs work. You’re overeager.” Ryan smirked a little. “I get it—who wouldn’t be overeager to kiss me?”
Finally, he got the reaction he wanted: Jamie rolled his eyes, though his face was still red from embarrassment. “Fuck off.”
Still smirking lazily, Ryan leaned back against the couch, stretching his arm along the back. “Is that how you talk to your best mate who’s about to offer you to practice on him?”
Jamie blinked a few times, looking adorably bewildered. “You’re joking.”
Ryan met his gaze steadily. “Nope. I promise not to laugh at you and just tell you if you’re doing something wrong.”
Jamie just stared at him.
“Hurry up before I change my mind,” Ryan said.
“You’re straight,” Jamie said dumbly.
Ryan raised his eyebrows. “So what? It won’t be a real kiss. I’ll let you practice on me, so the next time some prick says you’re a terrible kisser, you’ll know he’s lying.” Truth be told, Ryan was far from being as blasé about his offer as he pretended. Even thinking about kissing Jamie was too strange. But Jamie needed his help. More importantly, Jamie needed to be reassured there was nothing wrong with him so he could get his confidence back.
He saw the conflicting emotions in Jamie’s eyes—no matter how wasted he was, he probably had similar misgivings about kissing someone who was practically his brother.
But Jamie moved closer again…closer and closer until their mouths were inches apart. Ryan could smell the scent of whiskey as Jamie took shallow, shuddering breaths.
“Don’t be so nervous,” Ryan said, burying his fingers in Jamie’s hair and stroking it soothingly. “It’s just me. Don’t freak out on me.”
Jamie huffed out a laugh. “This is crazy,” he mumbled, staring at Ryan’s lips.
“A little,” Ryan said, applying pressure to Jamie’s head until their forehead touched. “Watch and learn.” Trying not to think too much about the fact that it was Jamie, he fit their mouths together and started kissing him, making sure to make it slow and thorough, so Jamie could see how it was done. Except Jamie completely ruined it, his mouth turning overeager and needy again. Before Ryan could process what was happening, Jamie’s tongue was in his mouth and then Jamie was sucking on Ryan’s tongue greedily, making those desperate little sounds again. It took Ryan some effort to get over the utter strangeness of it, but he figured since Jamie had so very little sexual experience, his overeagerness was only to be expected. It still didn’t make it any less weird that the guy he considered a little brother was sucking on his tongue with shameless little moans. It wasn’t terrible or anything. Just strange as hell.
Jamie whined when Ryan finally broke the kiss.
“Better, but you were overeager again,” Ryan said. “Too much tongue.”
“Sorry,” Jamie said belatedly, looking dazed and flushed. “Again?”
“Again,” Ryan said. “But this time take note of what I’m doing. Slowly.” He smiled. “Okay?”
Jamie nodded, licked his moist bottom lip and parted his lips, waiting to be kissed.
The sight was the weirdest fucking thing Ryan had seen in his life. Trying to shake the feeling off, he leaned in and pressed their lips together again. Jamie sighed and held very still, letting Ryan kiss him unhurriedly. It didn’t last long. Before long, Jamie was back to needy overeagerness, sucking on Ryan’s tongue. Ryan let him do it for a while before pulling back, wiping his lips, and giving Jamie a look.
Jamie blinked blearily, as though waking from a dream, and then groaned, covering his face with his hands.
Ryan laughed. The entire thing was ridiculous.
“Shut up,” Jamie said, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “You promised not to laugh.”
“You gotta admit it’s pretty funny,” Ryan said, throwing an arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “Actually, you’re not that bad. Just a little too much.”
“I hate you,” Jamie grumbled, hiding his face in his hands again.