No.
Sage opened his mouth wider and looked up to meet Xavier’s glazed eyes.
Fuck me. Fuck me.
Xavier inhaled sharply.
“I can’t control myself,” Xavier gritted out. “Not now. I’ll hurt you, dammit.”
Then hurt me.
Looking him in the eye, Sage tugged Xavier’s hips again, making Xavier thrust between his lips, making him do it again, stronger, harder, until Xavier finally gave in and let himself go—until he held Sage’s head in place and fucked his mouth, hard and cruel. Sage moaned around the cock, enjoying the way it stretched him, the way it felt, close to gagging and unable to breathe, a shudder running through his body and making his cock strain painfully at the front of his pants. He’d needed this. To be used like a thing, like a hole. Like his thing.
Now Xavier’s thrusts were far more erratic, but that only made it so much better—the knowledge that he was vulnerable, completely helpless, and completely at Xavier’s mercy as Xavier’s cock pushed against the back of his throat. Xavier could choke him—he could do anything to him. He wouldn’t, but he could, and that made Sage shiver.
Sage could feel Xavier was close, could feel it in Xavier’s stuttering, frantic rhythm. He was ready for it when Xavier started fucking his mouth harder, his thrusts becoming uncontrolled, Sage’s throat stretching to accommodate the thrusting cock being pushed in and out of it. Xavier gripped Sage’s hair harder and rammed his cock at his throat, pushing into the tight channel; he groaned, sounding almost pained, and bucked his hips, coming into the back of Sage’s mouth. Sage swallowed his come greedily, hungry, starved for it. God.
With a soft sigh, Sage let the softening cock slip out slowly.
A hand cupped his cheek, and Sage rubbed against it like a cat, his skin tight and oversensitive.
“Good boy,” Xavier whispered hoarsely.
Sage’s eyes snapped open as the reality came crashing down on him. He had just sucked off his ex-cellmate in the middle of a public park, like some—some cock-hungry little bitch. If anyone had seen it, if anyone knew—if Laura knew—
Sickening guilt twisted his stomach, and Sage staggered to his feet, flushed and still painfully hard.
“This— this never happened,” he croaked out. “This was a mistake. Leave me alone. I’m straight.”
Xavier zipped up and yanked Sage to him. “You can tell yourself whatever you want,” he said in a low voice, gripping Sage’s chin hard. “But you’re mine. You’ll always be mine. That’s why you sucked my dick. Because it belongs in your mouth.” His other hand kneaded Sage’s ass, confident and proprietary. His voice dropped, “It belongs inside you.”
Sage couldn’t stop a moan as Xavier slipped a finger under the waistband of his jeans to stroke between his buttocks.
“Fuck off,” he said weakly, but his body was pushing back against the finger and his knees were weak. He wanted. Wanted him—
No. Laura.
Breathing hard, Sage staggered back. “Leave me alone. I have a girlfriend. I—I love her.”
Xavier’s lips twisted. “Keep telling yourself that when you jerk off thinking of me fucking you.”
He turned around and walked away.
Sage leaned back against the nearest tree and closed his eyes, still shaking with need, hate and guilt.
He didn’t know who hated more at the moment: Xavier or himself.
* * *
Sage told himself he wouldn’t do it. He wasn’t going to jerk off and think of Xavier’s fucking him. He wouldn’t do it. He wasn’t Xavier’s thing, not anymore. He was normal. A normal guy.
But later that night, as he lay in his bed, Sage found his fingers slipping down to stroke his asshole. He massaged it and pushed a finger inside, the sensation going straight to his cock. Before long, he was finger-fucking himself, small, half-broken moans leaving his lips as he imagined Xavier’s heavy body on top of him as Xavier fucked him hard, harder, so good.
He came embarrassingly fast without even touching his cock, clenching around his fingers, and still needing so badly despite coming. Still starved.
“I hate you,” he whispered into the darkness.
I need you.
* * *
Someone once said most people would rather deny a hard truth than face it.
Sage wasn’t in denial. At least he didn’t think he was in denial. He was honest enough with himself to admit that he couldn’t be completely straight after a year of taking it up the ass and…not hating it. He certainly couldn’t be completely straight after what happened in the park yesterday.
The problem was, Sage didn’t identify himself as gay, either. Men did nothing for him. Sage had even checked out the guys at work, but he didn’t feel even a glimmer of attraction to any of them, no matter how good-looking they were.
Hell, he had even bought some gay porn.
And gay porn was gross. And boring. At least that was the conclusion Sage came to after an hour of watching it.