In his own words, a little Bry could be growing inside of me right now. Like it or not, I might be forever tied to him.
I could postpone him, put him off until I’m emotionally stable, but then that would just be delaying the inevitable…
And I rather just get it over with.
With three sets of eyes peering at me expectantly, I take a deep breath and tell him, “Yes.”
Clara gives me the ‘are you serious’ look, but I ignore it. I’ll explain it to her later, when I’m no doubt crying again.
Setting my open bottle of tequila down on the table, I rise from the couch, and Bella chooses this moment to pop up her head. Her eyes peek open at me sleepily and then she jumps off the couch, following me to the doorway.
Mason looks between Bry and me as if he’s unsure if he should allow this. Then Bella starts purring and slinks her way over to Bry, rubbing her body all over his legs.
Traitorous hussy.
“We’ll just talk in the hallway, that should be private enough,” I say, letting Bry know right away I’m not going with him while at the same time reassuring Mason.
Bending down, Bry scratches Bella behind her ears and she purrs all the louder.
Shaking my head at Bella, I urge her back inside and motion for Bry to step into the hallway. Bella gives me a look and flicks her tail in a way that lets me know she’s going to find my shoes and leave a present for me to find later.
I don’t take it personally, and honestly I can’t blame her. She’s the perfect warning that I can’t let Bry get to me. I can’t let my emotions or the unwanted hold he has on me get to me. If I’m going to make it through this in one piece, I need to stay strong and resist the urge to rub myself all over his damn legs.
Twenty-Four
Zoe
I close the door quietly behind me and then instantly regret it. The air seems to thicken, the space suddenly shrinking, Bry’s mere presence filling it, and my heart starts to race now that I’m alone with him.
There’s just never enough space when he’s around, especially when he’s looking at me like that.
Peering up at him, even after everything he did to me, he’s still excruciatingly handsome. If anything, now that I know the true him, you’d think he would look like a disgusting troll. But no, the effect he has on me hasn’t ebbed one fucking bit.
“Zoe…” he says, and takes a step toward me.
Immediately, I throw my hand up and say, “No, Bry, please don’t.”
For the love of god, don’t touch me.
He doesn’t stop though, he keeps approaching until he has me trapped, my back up against the door.
How the hell do I always end up with my back against something when I’m around him?
Fuck, this was a huge mistake. I should totally call out for Clara and Mason, yet I can’t get the words past my lips.
Staring down at me as if he’s trying to peer into my very soul, he says, “I’m the stupidest fucking man alive, and I’m sorry.”
If only sorry was enough, I think, as tears start to swim in front my eyes.
“I should have known… I should’ve used my fucking brain… but I was too fucking lost… too fucking crazy.”
Reaching up as if he’s going to wipe the tears from my cheeks, I immediately flinch away.
He makes a hurt sound deep in his throat and drops his hand. “I never meant to hurt you, baby. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. And knowing that I hurt you makes me want to punch myself in the face, repeatedly.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him to do just that, but that’s just the hurt bitch inside of me lashing out.
So, I say, “You thought I was whore, Bry… A whore,” instead.
It’s Bry’s turn to flinch, reacting as if I just slapped him.
“You used me… you fucking bought me. You turned me into a whore and made me believe what we had was something more. Something fucking special.”
You made me fall in love with you.
And that’s what hurts the most. I didn’t want to fall in love with him, I didn’t. But he pushed it, he made it happen.
“No,” he denies vehemently as my throat closes up and my eyes start to swell.
The brunt of the pain is hitting me full-force now that I’ve spoken it out loud. Closing my eyes, I try my best to keep the tears at bay, but it’s a losing battle.
“I didn’t use you, and I didn’t turn you into a whore.” Grabbing me by the face, he ignores my efforts to pull away. “Look at me, Zoe.”
Even now it’s hard to resist the authority in his voice. I peel my eyes open to find his face a breath away from my face.