But I’m not going to let that happen.
I just can’t allow myself to think like that. If I lose Zoe… I might as well throw myself off a bridge. Life will be nothing without her light in my life. Is this the meaning of love? Is this the way it’s supposed to feel? Was this why Dad wasted away after mom passed?
Fuck! I scream into the dark corners of my mind. I feel like everything around me is trying to swallow me down into some dark recess I’ll never get out of.
Squeezing my hands tightly into fists, I march as fast as I can to the parking garage. My car sits there, looking like a sleek little demon ready to take me to hell.
It’s probably where I belong for betraying Zoe.
Forcing those thoughts from my mind, I look at my phone to see where she’s landed. It’s not home or her old apartment, but I can see the location easily enough to track her down and force her to come home with me.
She’s fucking mine dammit. Mine. I don’t care how fucking stupid I was, I need her to live.
Twenty-Three
Zoe
“I’m so stupid. Why am I so stupid?” I ask Clara desperately through my tears.
After I ran out of the office, I took refuge in the coffee shop on the corner and called her. I was worried she wouldn’t pick up after how our last conversation went down, but I shouldn’t have worried. She was asking me where I was before I could get two sobbing, broken words out.
She helped me get myself together in the coffee shop bathroom, then she went with me to Bry’s apartment to pick up Bella and some of my stuff. Once we had all we could carry, she brought me back to her apartment.
I’ve been spilling my guts out on her couch about everything for over an hour now.
“Oh honey, you’re not stupid,” she says sympathetically and hugs me closer. “You’ve just got really, really shitty luck.”
I nod my head.
“And awful taste in men.”
“You can say that again.” I sniffle and lean back, breaking contact.
“You have awful taste in men.” She smirks and wiggles her eyebrows at me, trying to be funny.
She’s probably just as sick of my tears as I am. I swear I’ve cried more in the last two hours than I have in the past two years.
Wiping at my eyes, I tell her in all seriousness, “I’m never dating another man ever again.”
And at this moment, I’m being completely serious. I don’t think my heart will ever recover from the hurt Bry has caused me. After Jared, I truly believed no one could fuck me over as bad as he did…
Boy, was I wrong.
“You switching teams now?” Clara asks, her eyes going hilariously wide.
“No. I wouldn’t do that to our fair sex… I’m swearing off people period.” Glancing toward Bella curled up on the arm of the sofa, I declare, “I’m going to become one of those crazy cat ladies.”
“You mean, you’re not one already?” Clara snorts, and I give her a sideways glare.
She throws her hands up defensively. “I kid. I kid.”
Before I can think up a good retort, Mason calls out, “Did someone order ice cream and wine?”
We both turn to face him as he walks through the front door with an armful of groceries.
“Hey, baby,” Clara beams at him. “You got my message.”
“Of course,” he says, stopping by the couch on his way to the kitchen to give Clara a quick kiss on the forehead.
I have to swallow back my groan of disgust. They’re being cute and adorable again, and it’s the last thing I need to witness right now. I’m so heart-sick it’s making me sick.
“How you holding up, Zoe?” Mason asks, straightening.
His eyes are so soft and full of empathy, I can’t hold on to my disgust.
“I could use something a lot stronger than wine,” I sigh.
Mason nods his head and then reaches down into his bag. Pulling out a bottle, he grins at me. “How about some tequila?”
“You didn’t,” I gasp.
“I did,” he says, handing over the bottle. “Figured you needed it.”
I accept the bottle and hug it to my chest like it’s my favorite teddy bear. Then I blurt out, “You’re too damn perfect, Mason.”
He winks at me and then walks into the kitchen, setting his stuff down on the counter.
He really is too perfect, and so is Clara. They would make the most perfect babies. If I can’t be happy, at least I could live vicariously through them.
“You better put a ring on that,” I murmur quietly towards Clara.
“Oh, I plan on it,” she beams back at me.
Knowing that makes me both happy and sad. Instead of feeling more sorry for myself though, I figure I’m better off getting drunk instead.
“Hey, Mason, you don’t happen to have any brothers I don’t know about, do you?” I ask as I pop the cap on my bottle.