“That night we went to the Airport,” I answer honestly.
His face falls, and he take a step back, leaning up against the window.
Grave never knew how to hide what he feels. It’s always written all over his face. “I’m not going to say I’m sorry for what I did.”
“I didn’t expect an apology.” He snorts. “That requires you admitting you were in the wrong.”
“I was going to tell you.” I step forward. “I wanted to tell you.”
“When were you going to do that, Cross?” He chuckles, like I’m joking.
“The night …” I pause, unable to go on with that sentence that I started.
“When Cross?” he yells, getting irritated. “When were you going to tell me that you were lying to me?”
“I never lied to you!” I shout back. “I fucked your girl’s best friend. There’s a big difference there.” It’s not like it was April or some girl he had once been with. The only tie he had with Alexa was April. And I don’t think I should be punished for that.
“And you felt guilty. That’s why you never told me!” he screams, his face turning red with anger.
“No.” I shake my head. I won’t regret or feel guilty for what Alexa and I have been doing.
“Then what was so important that came up that kept you from telling me?” he demands. “Huh, Cross?”
I shake my head, unable to answer that.
He quickly takes a few steps forward until he’s in front of me and pokes his finger into my chest. “What happened that you couldn’t be my friend and tell me the truth?” He spits in my face. “You were my best friend, and you lied to me!”
“You lost a child!” I scream, and silence follows as his face falls, realizing the truth.
His eyes drop to the floor, and he takes a stumbling step back. “Grave …?”
“Don’t,” he mutters almost brokenly, and I close my mouth. Giving me his back, he turns to look out over Sin City again. “I know it doesn’t matter what the two of you do,” he admits quietly. “You were right. You’re both adults and can do whatever you want.”
I don’t really know what to say. Somehow over the past month, I’ve lost my best friend, and I don’t know how to get him back. If that’s even a possibility. Over a woman of all things. I feel other factors apply as well, but this is the one thing he wants to cling to. Maybe he wanted to push me away. “You asked me if I loved her. And I didn’t get to answer you.”
He slowly turns around, his blue eyes meeting mine.
“I do,” I say, and a smile spreads across my face. “It didn’t start out that way of course. But that’s what it is now.”
He looks away, staring at the black-painted wall, and sighs heavily. “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with April the moment I saw her. But now …”
I frown as he trails off. “Now what?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” He goes to walk past me, but I reach out, grabbing his arm and stop him.
“It does matter,” I tell him. “What is it?” I want to be here for Grave. He hasn’t even given me a chance to be a good friend to him, but I want to help him.
He drops his head to stare at his feet. “It’s …” He sniffs, unable to look at me. “She kept her feelings from me. Afraid I’d turn to drugs if I knew how much pain she was in over … the baby.” His voice breaks.
I let out a long breath.
“And I hate that I can’t be what she needs.” He takes in a shaky breath. “She thought I was too fragile to handle the truth. Such a weak man, that she felt she had to hide that from me,” he chokes out.
“Hey?” I let go of his arm and grip his face, making him look up at me. Tears silently run down his cheeks. “Don’t do this to yourself, Grave. You are what she needs. Do you understand me?”
He nods and sniffs again. I pull him into me, and he hugs me. “April is lucky to have you.” I slap his back. “And she knows that.” I know she thought she was doing the right thing. There’s no manual when it comes to helping a recovering addict. They can relapse for no reason other than they just want a hit. A relationship can be a lot and then a pregnancy …miscarriage? She just wanted to protect him.
He nods, hugging me tightly before he pulls away quickly, as if our manly hug had timed out. He rushes to wipe the tears from his face and clears his throat. “I hope that Alexa is what you’ve been looking for, Cross.”
I give him a soft smile. “She is, Grave. She is.”