“Ayah, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She looked at him with eyes dulled by hurt. “But you know you could, Luu—-” She shook her head, and the tears started to fall. “Nic. You know you could hurt me, but you still did all of this anyway.”
He ached to hold her, fucking ached to wipe her tears away and do everything he could to make it all right. “Ayah, I may have lied about so many things, but I didn’t lie about loving you.”
“Maybe,” she said brokenly. “But love comes with t-trust and I...I can’t trust you when I don’t even know who you are.” She started to cry hard at that, not wanting to but unable to help it. “I don’t even know who I am anymore after what you did.” She covered her mouth, trying to stop herself from sobbing. “I lost myself in you and now that you’re telling me you’re not who I thought you were...how do I find myself again?”
~ Nine ~
“Thanks for everything.” It was the best she could do without blubbering like a fool as she looked at her friends one last time before she boarded the plane heading back to Florida. It was time to make a fresh start. Hong Kong had been a blast, but after what had happened one week ago, it would never be the same. It would always have ugly memories, and she was so tired of crying.
“Yeah, yeah.” Mr. Hsu was glaring at her. Ayah had a feeling it was the best he could do, the only way to stop both of them from bawling like kids. Goodbyes were hell, but she hadn’t wanted to go without thanking everyone either.
“We’ll miss you,” Mari said before pulling Ayah into a hug.
After all the hugs, she gazed at them, knowing she would never forget this bunch of people. They had become an important part of her life and it hurt to imagine waking up to a new day and knowing they were half a world away.
She opened her mouth to speak, but Mr. Hsu growled, “You go now. You might be late. Stop wasting time here. It’s not like you’ll disappear.”
“I’ll miss you guys,” she said, now smiling a little because of her boss’ grumpiness. It was just like old times.
“Yeah, yeah. We can go and visit you.”
“No, you can’t. You’re afraid of flying,” she reminded him.
“Then you come and visit us. Same stupid banana.” He shooed her away. “Now go.”
She was smiling when she turned around after giving them one final wave. The plane was almost completely filled when she boarded. It was strange, considering that the plane wasn’t bound to take off anytime soon. Perhaps it was given the green light for an early departure and she had missed the announcement?
After putting her backpack inside the overhead compartment, she flopped down on the seat. Her eyelids drifted closed. She felt the plane taking off sometime later, the sound registering in her subconscious. She stirred in her seat and froze when her movements were hindered by...a seatbelt?
She couldn’t remember securing her seatbelt, and certainly not this tightly!
Her eyes flew open.
“Hello.” It was Nic.
“I brought you a peace offering.” Before she could tell him no, she didn’t need one, he placed a large brown envelope on the table. Despite herself, she opened it and shook the contents out. The tears started to fall.
“I’ve been flying around the world this past week, collecting each and every one of them.”
It was the entire set of the limited edition kokeshi-designed throw bags from Jaewon Airlines.
He offered her his phone next, making her frown at him even as she sniffed back tears.
“I have an Instagram account, too.”
“So?”
“Please look at it. You’ll understand.”
She wished she could tell him no, but she just didn’t have it in her to be rude. Ayah took the phone reluctantly and clicked on the IG icon. She swallowed back another surprised, tear-choked laugh.
“I made sure to use that Insta-Place thing, just so you know I’m not lying. I didn’t have anyone collect it for me. I did everything myself.”
Finally, he gave her another envelope, a smaller one this time.
Inside were two pieces of paper – one blown-up snapshot of their clasped hands, taken a year ago, and the other one a pen-drawn illustration of a tiny hand.
“I kept thinking all this time about what I could do to make you believe me, Ayah. I thought of begging, maybe even bribing people to be my character witnesses and all sorts of crazy things. But the bottom line is, I want to believe that you’ll forgive me because...” He inhaled, feeling like he was about to jump off a cliff with his next words.
“I once asked someone if, when you learned about what I did, you would still forgive me. And she told me that you would because you love me.” It was his greatest gamble.