I place my cheek against his chest once more and just listen to the steady thunder of his heartbeat. I’m not sure if this guilt will ever go away, but I do feel better talking to Ford. I wish I could have stopped it. I wish I had known. I wish it wouldn’t have taken a tragic turn before I was even allowed to experience the joys of motherhood.
But it wasn’t in the cards.
At least not now.
After several minutes, I finally say, “I think I want to move.”
He pulls back and meets my gaze. “Yeah?”
I nod. “I’ve been talking to Faith a lot lately. Her roommate moved out a few weeks ago to live with her boyfriend, and well, she hasn’t found a new roommate yet. I’ve been thinking… maybe I could move in with her. I know it’s a lot farther away from your base, but—”
“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Ford interrupts.
“You do?”
He nods. “I do. All I want in this world is for you to be safe and happy. Getting you out of this town would do both. Plus, you’d have my sister, so you wouldn’t be alone.”
“Cassie did some research while I was in the shower, and there’s actually a school near where Faith lives.”
I can see a plethora of emotions cross his features. “Keep going.”
“The original course I signed up for was thirteen months, and as long as they offer a similar one, I think I can still work part-time evenings and weekends.”
He rubs the outside of my arms and places a small kiss on my nose. “You know you don’t have to work, right? I can help you.”
I give him a small grin. “I appreciate that, really, but… I need to do this myself.”
Ford just smiles back at me. “And I knew you’d say that. Whatever you need, I support you a thousand percent, Shayne,” he says as he links our fingers together.
“Maybe tomorrow we can look up the school and check on enrollment,” I whisper, snuggling back into his warm, familiar chest.
“I’d love to help. I’m on leave next weekend. Chad and I will move you.”
I sigh in complete contentment. “It’s not done yet, Ford. I haven’t talked to your sister. She may have already gotten a new roommate, and the school might already be full for fall.”
“Nope. It’ll happen. I know it,” he says, turning my chin up and meeting his gaze. “Do you know why I’m so certain?”
I shake my head, already feeling the emotions lodging in my throat.
“Because you’re amazing and so fucking strong, and honestly, this is probably a much better idea than the one I was going to suggest,” he says, offering me a sheepish grin.
“What’s that?”
“You marry me right away and come live with me on the base.”
My eyes must resemble something out of a cartoon, because Ford cracks up laughing. “What?”
“Chill, sweet Shayne,” he whispers, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “I’d do it in a heartbeat to get you out of here, but that’s not the only reason why I’d marry you.”
“It’s not?” The words feel choked in my throat.
“No. I’d marry you because you’re my future, not just my present. Because I want to build a life with you,” he says, bringing our joined fingers to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. “Because when I see myself outside of the military in a little house with a wife on the porch watching kids playing in the yard, I see you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to change my life forever.”
My words are barely audible as I murmur, “I want that too.”
Ford grins the most handsome, breathtaking smile. “Then this is what we’re going to do. In the morning, we’re going to call Faith. If she’s already rented the room, we’ll find you something else near her. It’s a college town. Apartments open up all the time. We’ll go online and get you enrolled in school too, so you’re all ready for fall.”
“You’re so confident.”
“In us, baby. I’m confident in us. We can get through anything as long as we do it together. This year is going to fly by, and before we know it, I’ll be discharged, you’ll finish school, and then we can go wherever we want, do whatever.” Ford swipes at a few stray tears under my eyes.
“I’d like that.”
He kisses me soundly, reiterating his declaration and love through the way he kisses me. It’s poignant and tender, yet completely toe-curling passionate at the same time. It’s just us.
When I’m completely breathless, he pulls away and asks, “So, what do you want to do? Get ready for bed?”
“Actually,” I start, curling on my side against him and raising our hands up. I trace his scarred knuckles with my thumb, memorizing the roughness of his skin and the way it feels in my hand. “I was thinking, since it’s such a calm night, maybe we can go outside and look up at the stars. You can show me if you’ve done your homework and know where Sagittarius is.”