“Yes, I understand.” He smiled tightly. “I’m proud of you.”
I turned my back on him. “Don’t speak to me ever again unless spoken to first.” Then walked toward the altar and sat down. I put my head between my knees and hugged myself, eyes squeezed shut, feeling sick and horrified.
So much death and blood.
When did it become normal?
Roman sat by my side. I leaned against him and he wrapped his massive arms around my shoulders as Erick barked orders at the remaining soldiers. They began cleaning up and taking stock of the injured and the dead. My father slipped away at some point, but he was irrelevant now.
Just a tool for my husband.
“I keep meaning to tell you something.” He sounded exhausted, but his eyes shone as he tilted my chin up toward him.
“Yeah? Another surprise on my wedding day?”
“I love you.” He leaned down and kissed me gently. “Your part in all of this is over, Cassie. But I love you and I want you to stay with me. I might need your help in the next few months.”
I blinked at him rapidly and tried to process. My thoughts spun, and the room stank like blood and death, but Roman’s arms were around me and his chest was close and his breath came in deep and steadily, and the panic that once threatened to swamp my emotions was only a dim memory.
“I love you too,” I said and looked into his eyes. Those ice cold, gray-flecked eyes. “I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
He kissed me deeper t hen held me tight and for the first time in a while, I felt like I had a future—
Even if that future would be hard and bloody and uncertain, at least I had one with Roman.
“Don’t forget to help the priest,” I said absently, leaning on his shoulder. “I bet he’s still terrified.”
Roman chuckled. “Good thinking. I probably would’ve left him back there.”
“What a wedding.”
“I can give you another, if you want.”
“I doubt anyone would come.”
“That’s a good point. How about just the presents then? As many as you want.”
“I’ll take you up on that.”
He hugged me tight, and I laughed until I couldn’t laugh anymore.
41
Cassie
The ocean rolled in and out against the sand and I lounged back in the chair, stretching out my legs and sighing with pure contentment.
Winter wiggled her glass in the air, the ice clinking around in circles.
“I could get used to this.” She peered at me and grinned. The sun was setting, the sky was a gorgeous purple and orange, and she glowed from spending the afternoon out on the beach.
“I knew you’d like it.”
“Who the heck has a private beach in Avalon? I mean, this has got to be obscenely expensive.”
“Roman is obscenely rich. I know that’s crass, but it’s true.”
“How’d you land a rich man?” She pouted and stretched like a cat. “I’d do some truly nasty things for a billionaire. Nothing degrading, but you know, still pretty nasty.”
“I don’t need the details.”
“Since you asked—“
I laughed and put my hands over my ears as she described a sex act I had never once considered—but might be willing to try with Roman.
The breeze felt good on my skin though it was getting chilly. I was surprisingly tired considering I had done nothing but lay out all day with Winter and talked about everything we hadn’t been able to discuss since this all started.
I didn’t give her the gory details. I glossed over most of it—but she got the general idea. By the end, she was shaking her head, and seemed genuinely mystified by the whole ordeal.
“Let me get something straight.” She sat up and arched her back, knuckling against her spine. “You love this guy, right?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
“When did that happen?”
I considered, chewing my lip. “Early on, I think. Around that first car ride when he helped me deal with my panic attack. It wasn’t full on love, but that’s what it started.”
“How’d you know?” She eyed me suspiciously. “I’ve been with men, but I’ve never really known, you know?”
“I know.” I laughed lightly and stared out at the ocean. When had I realized for sure? It was a hard question to ask because the line wasn’t clear. I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly think—yes, as of eight this morning, I am in love with Roman—it was gradual, like water wearing down rock into sand.
“Seriously, how did you figure it out? How’d you quiet all those dumb voices in your head that always tell you to run away?”
“I know exactly which voices you mean and they were very, very loud this time. But when he kissed me and all I could think about was staying in that kiss forever.”
“Not bad, but I’ve kissed some truly incredible men in my day, but didn’t love them. Keep trying.”