“I will, but right now it’s okay.”
“Good. So you’re in some secret location with a mystery man you want to both fuck and kill. Tell me again how it’s not hot?”
I closed my eyes. If only she knew the half of it. She’d probably storm down here herself and kick Roman in the crotch for tricking me into some crappy fake marriage for his own political gains.
But I couldn’t tell her that much without breaking the rules.
And if I broke the rules—
I pushed that thought away. I couldn’t go there. Not without my cheeks burning a perfect ten and Winter would definitely hear it in my voice.
“It’s a little bit hot. Are you happy? I sort of hate myself for admitting that.”
“I bet you do. He’s gonna hear it, isn’t it?”
“Probably. I really miss you.”
“I really miss you too. Sea Isle is so dull. Tourists are starting to show up, which is kind of nice. There was this big, strapping young blond lad at the Lobster last night that was eye-fucking me all night. I considered letting him take me home, but he was much too drunk to perform. Still, you know how I hate sleeping alone.”
“And yet you sleep alone most nights.”
“So true. The tragedy of my life.” She laughed and I heard a cork pop from a wine bottle. It was barely nine in the morning. Good for her. “Want to hear all the gossip?”
“I’ve only been gone for a little bit.”
“True, but girl, this is Sea Isle. Buckle up because Jack’s being creepy to the new girl and I heard rumors of an oceanside blowjob gone wrong.”
“Start with the blowjob gone wrong.”
I could practically hear her grinning as she dove into the tragic tale of two young horny teens that snuck down to the beach for a little late-night oral only to be chased by a pack of angry midnight old man metal detectors.
For a few minutes, I forgot about Roman. I let myself drift into her story and get lost in the stupid small-town gossip. Winter thrived on gossip, which was probably why people loved her as a bartender—she listened ravenously and always had a good story to tell. Sometimes I was jealous of the way she made people feel comfortable, and the one time I actually told her that, she only laughed and said she was jealous of my hips and my boobs.
Winter was easy to love. Warm and kind and outgoing. Adored me, though I didn’t know why I deserved it.
The opposite of Roman.
We talked for an hour until my stomach rumbled loud enough that she heard it and ordered me to get something to eat.
“We’ll talk again later. You got that phone now, right? I can text you?”
“Text away, but remember, they’re listening and reading everything.”
“Well in that case, hey you creepy dickholes, leave my girl alone.”
“You really got them.”
“I know. Nailed it.”
Hanging up felt like tearing off a band aid. I stared down at the quiet phone afterward for almost a minute and wished I could go back to Sea Isle, back to my comfortable apartment above Winter, to my comfortable, quiet life.
But then I never would’ve met Roman, and he never would’ve made that offer.
My comfortable quiet life would lead to noting. That was what I wanted, the whole reason I disappeared into a beach town. I desperately needed to get away from my dad and the MacKenna family after what happened.
The car, that knife, the blood.
That smirking asshole. The pain as he sliced my stomach open. Go ahead and scream. I like it when a pretty bitch screams. Makes you clench down while I fuck you.
My hands shook as I forced myself to breathe.
Just like Roman taught me.
The panic subsided before it got too bad.
My comfortable life. The world I left behind when he shot that Italian guy in the head and whisked me away.
I could be angry. I could fight him. Rage against him. Make things hard.
But a man like Roman rarely offered something as precious and opened-ended as anything.
That was worth so much more than I could ever imagine.
My comfortable life was a dead end. It was nowhere, and as I so recently and violently found out, I wasn’t safe even hidden away.
Roman was my chance.
I couldn’t protect Winter, let alone protect myself. Erick found her, which meant any of the men that wanted me dead could find her, too.
And they would, sooner or later.
Even if I hated Roman so much it burned my skin. Even if I wanted him in equal measure.
Even if I was so confused I could scream.
He was my shot at true safety.
Anything.
From a man like him, that meant the world.
I had to do it.
I had to.
It might break me, but I had to do it.
16
Winter
I hung up the phone and stared down at my hands.