“Thank you,” she says in a snooty, wobbly voice and then points toward the door. “Now get out.”
I shut the bathroom door behind me, and Henry apologizes profusely like he had something to do with a snake somehow making it into his house. Richard thanks me for removing it. I laugh the whole way down to the dock where I let it go near the lake.
Once the snake is taken care of, I sit down on the edge of the dock, still laughing over the sight of Jessie squealing with a snake hissing at her, and I wait. I know she will come find me, and I’m right. I hear her feet shuffling over the dock, and I look over my shoulder to see her wearing jean shorts and a lavender top. Her hair is wet, and her arms are crossed tightly over her chest, shoulders bunched up to her ears.
“Are you seriously still laughing at me?”
“Yes,” I say, not bothering to hide my amusement.
“You’re a jerk.”
“A jerk who saved you from a naked snakebite.”
She stops a few feet away from me and groans into her hands. “Oh my gosh, please don’t say that word!”
I hop up and go to stand in front of her. “Snake?”
She drops her hands, a humiliated-pleading look on her face. “Naked!”
I chuckle and put my hands on the sides of her arms. “It’s really not a big deal.”
Her eyes widen. “Not a big deal?! Drew!! I’m eight months pregnant, and you…you saw me…” She shakes her head. She can’t bring herself to say the word naked again. This is ridiculous. I can’t believe she’s even giving this a second thought.
“Jessie, you know what I do for a living right? I have seen one or two naked pregnant ladies in my day.”
Her face is serious as a heart attack. “First of all, that doesn’t help even a bit. And second, this is different and you know it.”
It is different, but I’m just trying to make her feel better. I’m honestly not sure what to say here. It feels sort of dangerous, like my only options are to say too much or too little.
I try to duck down and catch her eyes, but she’s not having it. “Jessie, what can I say that will make you feel better?”
“I want you to say you didn’t see anything and you will completely forget this ever happened!”
I’m a good liar—but I’m not that good. “I saw everything.” She drops her head and makes sounds of lamenting. I smile and lift her chin up so her pretty green gaze is forced to look into mine and see the truth for herself. Her watery eyes blink at me. “I saw everything—and I loved everything I saw. You are gorgeous. Every inch. And I have seriously never seen a more beautiful woman in all my life.”
The corners of her mouth turn down in a sort of sad smile, and her brows knit together. “Really?” she asks, in an insecure voice that’s brimming with hope. Don’t lie to me, her tone says.
“Really.” I wrap my arms around her and let Jessie bury her face in my chest.
“Thank you,” she says, words muffled by the fabric of my shirt, and I’m not sure I’ve ever been so thankful for the existence of snakes as I am now. “But I think you have to go skinny-dipping now so I can see you naked and even the score.”
“I would, but I think Henry is watching us from the window, and I don’t want to set the bar too high for Richard.”
“You know,” says Henry, coming back to the table to set a cup of hot tea in front of me after the snake fiasco. Drew is outside loading up the car before we head to my grandaddy’s house, and given the look on Henry’s face right now, I hope Drew comes back any second now because it seems like I have a feelings speech on the horizon. I’ve seen this look before in the salon when my clients want to share with me their tricks to catch a man, or how they’ve kept a happy husband in bed for 30+ years. (It’s actually not as dirty as you might think—all you have to do is feed him a pot roast and mashed potatoes, apparently.)
“I couldn’t help but hear you yelling for Drew not to look at you while you were…uh…in the shower this morning.”
Oh shoot. Of course he heard me and thought that was strange. Before I can open my mouth with an excuse, Henry leans over and squeezes my hand.
“No need to get embarrassed. I completely understand. Although I’ve never been in exactly your situation, I have been the listening ear to many, many of my pregnant friends over the years, and I know it must be hard to let your man see you in the nude when your body has changed so much.”
My worried expression clears. He’s not suspicious that Drew and I have been faking our relationship and today was literally the first time he’s ever seen me without my clothes—he just thinks I’m shy about my baby body. Okay, I can work with this. Also, I choose not to wonder why I care so much if Henry knows Drew and I are not really together. It’s not like anything bad would come of it or he’d out Drew to all his colleagues. Drew is going to have to tell everyone eventually anyway—that was the whole point of this prank, to force Drew into a humiliating situation. And yet…I want to protect him.
“It is hard,” I say, mustering up pretend emotion to really sell it. “I don’t even feel like myself anymore.” And that part isn’t even a lie. It’s hard to look in the mirror with this belly and hips and boobs and find the woman I once was. I’m sure she’ll be back one day, but for now I feel totally different.
My mind wanders back to Drew telling me he saw everything and thought I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. My cheeks heat just thinking of it. I won’t lie, that was a concern for me—Drew and me developing feelings for each other and taking things to the next level. How do you even begin to date someone at this phase of life? I’m about to have a child. Drew has never known me not pregnant. And then I can only imagine what things will be like down south after the baby comes out. It would be so weird to start dating now. Wouldn’t it? But then again…he saw me naked and thought I was beautiful as is, and with his profession, it’s not like anything would be a shock to him. He knows what he would be getting into. So how am I supposed to feel about that?
“I know you don’t, but believe me, you’ll bounce right back after the baby comes, so you’ve got nothing to worry about. And letting your fiancé see you like this is one of the greatest joys you can give your man.” I can feel my face turning into lava. This feels like a very personal conversation to be having with my fake boyfriend’s mentor’s husband. “The way Drew looks at you…it’s like you hung the moon. And I’m sure he loves nothing more seeing the woman carrying his baby in all her glory.”