“The YouTube videos?” he echoes in an incredulous tone, clearly still trying to decide if we’re messing with him or not. But when he glances over and sees the printed out “birth guru” certificate with Lucy’s name on it, something snaps inside him. I can see it in his eyes.
“Of course you wouldn’t be supportive.” I muster up a few fake tears, trying to push him over the top, and now Drew looks floored.
“Now, now…” Lucy rubs my back. “Don’t let him ruin your mental sedation with his negativity.”
“Mental sedation?!” His voice nearly shakes the walls. “What did you give her?”
Lucy remains the ever-proper guru despite his heightened state. “The most powerful birthing prescription in the world—vibes of joyousness administered through thoughtful eye contact.” Vibes of joyousness?! Okay, that really did sound like she just pulled it out of her butt.
I’m worried Lucy might have taken it too far and Drew will finally realize we are just pranking him, but no,
he looks downright livid. We are getting closer to cartoonlike anger. The ends of his hair are about to catch on fire and turn him into the next Marvel character that fights off birth gurus all over the world. Which…was not supposed to happen. He was supposed to call our bluff after vibes of joyousness. I feel a tinge of concern.
“Jessica, may I have a word? In the kitchen.” He points behind him like I’m a naughty puppy that needs to be put in her crate until she can stop shredding all the pillows and eating crayons.
I rise from the ground with Lucy’s help and then level him with an indignant scowl. “Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Luc—” Drew swiftly turns me and starts pushing me along with him into the kitchen. “Hey, watch it! Pregnant lady here. You can’t just toss me around like a rag do—”
Drew spins me to face him, and in one swift motion, lifts me up and plants me on the counter. Apparently, he can move me around like a rag doll. How did he make that look so easy and graceful? He literally just lifted two humans! Maybe he’s experiencing one of those adrenaline-induced super-strength episodes.
He plants a hand on either side of me and narrows his navy eyes. My skin erupts, and I’m sure my face is turning the same color as my guru garment. Ooo he smells incredible leaning in close to me like this. I wonder what kind of cologne he wears, and if he’d notice if it suddenly went missing. Can I trail my finger along his jaw? Would it be prickly? His eyes pinch together and his jaw ticks. Now would probably be a good time to laugh and tell him the truth, but I want to see how far I can go before he realizes it’s a prank. Also, I can’t seem to form words with him this close.
Without meaning to, my eyes drop to his lips. If he asks, I’ll say I’m just checking to make sure they’re still there. Yep! There they are! Heat ripples between us, and goose bumps blanket my skin. I can hear my inner bad girl telling me to lean forward and take those sexy lips for my own. I want to wrap my arms around his neck and hang on to him like a little monkey. He’s sturdy. He could handle me.
But the rational thinking portion of my brain reminds me that I am pregnant and vulnerable, and Drew is just the sort of man I don’t need to get mixed up with. He’s the guy you lose your heart to on the first date. He’s the one you tumble head over heels and do irrational things for, like get a tattoo on your butt cheek just because nothing else feels like an adequate symbol of your love.
I’ve known this about Drew since the day Lucy first told me about her brother and showed me his picture. It was weeks before he ever did anything stupid, but I decided then and there to hate him—because I knew if I didn’t force myself to see all of his bad qualities, I’d like him way too much. As a woman freshly hurt by yet another man, I wasn’t about to let that happen. I’ll never let myself feel reckless romance with a man again. No, somewhere later down the line, I want a reasonable man to marry, someone who makes me smile but never evokes strong feelings. I want someone to share life with, but I never want to have to worry about feeling devastated if I lose him.
And when I look back up into Drew’s dark-indigo-blue-jean eyes, I know he would be devastating.
“I cannot believe you would have my highly unqualified sister deliver your baby.” Drew’s voice is low thunder in the distance. It’s shaking me.
“Y-yes. I am having her be my birth guru. I’ve thought it through, and—”
Drew pushes off the counter and turns his back to me, raising a single arm to grip the back of his hair in frustration. He whirls around to me again, looking madder than a hornet. “You know, Jessie, this is a new low, even for you. Stooping to putting your child in danger just out of spite for me!” This is the part where I should yell HA-HA and dance around him obnoxiously, but I don’t feel like doing that, because now I’m pissed. How could he say that to me? “And thinking those damn garments are going to keep you from feeling pain! Come on. Joyful vibes? I thought you were smarter than that. You need a doctor or a midwife to assist you, not a self-made gu—”
“Okay, stop. I’ve heard enough. And you know what? I can’t believe you!”
“Me?!” he asks with raised brows. Drew stalks back to me, planting those big hands beside my hips again and leveling me with his stormy gaze. “What could you possibly be angry with me about?”
“So many things!” I say, my voice rising so high it squeaks. “But I’m mostly upset that you would ever think me capable of truly making a decision like this! You weren’t supposed to believe me! Not for a second. You were supposed to laugh and shake your head and see right away that it was a—” The power in my voice loses steam when I see Drew’s lips begin to curl in a devious smile. My anger rushes out of me and is replaced by despondency.
“A what, Jessie?” he whispers, his mouth only two inches from mine.
I take in a long breath through my nose and then, on a rush of air, admit, “A prank.”
A full smile replaces his ferocious scowl, and my stomach sinks. He did know it was a prank. This whole time he knew, and he was getting me back.
As if it’s possible, somehow, Drew leans even closer without our lips touching. “Never try to prank the master.”
My eyes shut tight for a moment before I open them again. Unfortunately, when I do, they drift down to their new favorite resting place: his mouth. His fine, smiling mouth.
“When did you realize it was a prank?”
“From the word guru.” Why is he still whispering like that? I need him to talk at a normal volume so my skin will stop prickling like this. So my heart will stop racing. So my mind will stop pretending this is the beginning of something. “I only said all that to get you to admit it. I would never believe you’d let my sister deliver your child after watching a few YouTube videos.”
My hands are pressing into the counter beside my thighs, and Drew’s thumb lightly brushes against my pinky. Intentionally? Yes. Look, he just did it again! My womanly organs all cheer like their home team just scored the winning goal.
I swallow. “Oh, okay.” I sound drunk. Wonderful.