I narrow an eye and smile at her sudden eagerness to find out my dirty secret. Well, it’s the least I can do to be honest with her after all she’s told me tonight, right? “You can’t make fun of me. It’s pretty stupid. But…I guess some part of me knows I’ll have a wife in here with me one day because this is my settling-down house. Puts a little more pressure on picking something a woman would enjoy too.”
She looks up at me, and her lips part like there are words hovering in her mouth but she doesn’t want to let them out.
“What?” I ask, being the pushy one now. My eyes sweep over her face, and I can’t believe how striking she is even in soggy wet clothes and no makeup. I’ve never met another woman I thought looked truly beautiful in a state like this.
“I’m just surprised to hear that you have thoughts like that…about marriage and women sharing your house and all.”
“It’ll probably just be one woman.” She nudges my arm with a playful laugh, and I’m thankful she’s not hiding anymore. “But I get why you’re surprised. I do tend to put off serious short-term-relationship-only vibes, but I haven’t always been like that. I—uh—sort of went through a bad breakup back in Charlotte.”
“The ex-girlfriend you mentioned in the pool?”
I nod slowly, not excited to unpack all these memories. “Janie. She and I were together for a few years, and I was crazy about her—like, head over heels. She always said she loved me too, so I thought we were on the same page. Spoiler: we weren’t. I finally set up this whole big proposal with tons of string lights, and flowers, and a musician, and…gosh, it’s so embarrassing, thinking back on it. I looked like a complete idiot when I got down on my knee in front of all our friends and popped the question only for her to say no. We broke up right after that—about a year and a half ago.”
Lucy sucks in a sharp breath, and the pity I see on her face is almost as excruciating to see now as it was back then, painted on the faces of all our friends. “Cooper, I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head and shrug, eager to be done with this conversation. “It’s in the past. Janie’s married now, and they just announced they’re pregnant, so you know, it all worked out and all that.” Worked out for her, at least.
“But that’s why you needed to get away.” Lucy speaks with so much empathy, like she completely understands that need to start over away from the person who caused you so much pain. And that’s because she does know.
“Yeah. I’ve never even told Drew about…Janie. As far as he knows, I’m not capable of a commitment, because when I got here to Nashville, I just sort of threw myself headfirst into wiping her out of my memory and avoiding anything close to a relationship.” Until now. “Anyway, that’s what I meant earlier by feeling envious of you. I did want to be married—have kids, the whole nine yards.” I should feel more embarrassed after admitting all of this to Lucy, but I don’t. I feel lighter.
“Hmm,” she says softly, leaning her shoulder against the doorframe. “And you still do.”
I quirk a brow at her. “I do?”
“Yeah, you can’t fool me.” She gestures around her. “You bought this house, and you already admitted you want to furnish it with feminine things, remember?”
“Well, I don’t
know about specifically feminine things.”
“You said things a woman would like—that means feminine. Get ready for pastel throw pillows, pal.”
“Pal?” I ask with a laugh.
She laughs too before her smile sobers. We both stand in a kind of awkward, heavy silence for a minute before she surprises me with a turn in conversation I’m not expecting. “Listen, it was a mistake that I tried to kiss you earlier. I was just caught up in the moment, and the stars, and the water… and well, anyway, I didn’t mean to do it. Can we please just forget about it?”
I feel like we should talk about it more, like I should tell her exactly why I turned away and make sure she knows her trying to kiss me did not feel like a mistake to me. But I know I can’t explain it without telling her the whole truth—that I like her and can see myself wanting more with her. I have to wait until I’ve talked to Drew. I need to do this the right way, as much for myself as for Lucy.
I inhale a deep breath and narrow my eyes down at the fragile expression painted on her face. Finally, I release my breath and nod. “If you say so. I won’t bring it up anymore.”
She looks considerably more relieved and holds out her hand for me to shake, like this is an official business deal we’ve just made. It’ll hold up in court as far as she’s concerned.
I reach out and take Lucy’s hand…and wiggle it because she’s already rubbing off on me.
Lucy doesn’t give me any time to say anything further on the subject before she smiles and turns, disappearing into the guest bathroom to change her clothes. I remain motionless in the hallway, wondering if Drew would be pissed if I woke him up right now to get his permission to date Lucy. Even better question: Was she being honest about only being caught up in the moment?
I hope not.
Waking up in Cooper’s clothes is a heady feeling. His shirt smells rugged and handsome, just like him, and for some reason, I can’t bring myself to take it off. Just one more quick minute, I tell myself like a freak as I bring the cotton to my nose and drag in a deep breath. So good. He’s the only man I’ve ever known to smell as good as he looks.
Being rejected last night was definitely one of the worst moments of my life. But then, after we talked more and he shared everything about his ex, it was clear that Cooper’s heart is good, and even if he is a bit of a flirt, he’s not the type of guy to string me along for no reason. It was good he didn’t kiss me since he’s obviously not into me. It’s a tiny bit (read: massively) disheartening that he doesn’t feel the same way about me that I feel about him, but it’s better that he is upfront about it and not playing with my emotions and treating me like a passing encounter he never intends to follow through on (ahem, Brent).
Also, I don’t think I have anything to be embarrassed about, because I’m pretty sure Cooper is used to women trying to kiss him. I bet it’s a very regular occurrence. If he made out with every woman who ever tried to lock lips with him, it would turn into his full-time job. So, it’s fine. I’m going to choose not to freak out about it or dive into a hole of closed-off mortification in typical Lucy style and, instead, go about my day. I also might have mentally decided to take that memory and shove it somewhere deep down where I can never reach it again and pretend it never happened. Denial is healthy, right?
Cooper’s sweatpants are loose around my waist, and I have to roll them three times before leaving my room to make breakfast. My mom said she could keep Levi as long as I needed, but since I don’t have any appointments today (still building my clientele), I took the day off and am anxious to be reunited. I decide to get my day going early so I can pick him up this morning instead of later. Being a mom is kind of weird. One minute, you’re begging a sitter to take your terrible/snotty/sleepless kid off your hands, and then five minutes after they’re gone, you find yourself misty-eyed, staring at pictures you took yesterday of that darling/angelic/precious child and wondering if it’s too soon to go pick them up.
“Where’d you get those clothes?” My brother’s voice booms from behind me, making me startle and launch the cereal I was pouring into the air. It’s raining hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers, and balloons.