“Mental health is not something to joke about.”
“Who says I’m joking!” she says in a loud whisper.
I rise up slightly to peek over the hairsprays. “What is he doing here?”
“Hmm…getting his oil changed?” When I look up at her with hope in my eyes, she looks like she’s going to smack me upside the head. “What do you think he’s doing here?! Getting his hair cut, crazy lady! And he’s probably the guy who called and requested you.”
“Me?” I ask, like maybe someone else is standing right behind me that I don’t see.
“Yes, you. Do you know him?”
“No. Yes. No. I mean, kinda. He’s my brother’s best friend, and I sent him a humiliating text message the other day that he never responded to, so now I can never show my face around him again.”
“Like a nude photo text?”
I give her a face that says Do you really think I’m the type to send a nude photo? and then I gesture toward my childish position on the floor just to really drive the point home.
She chuckles and waves me off. “Yeah, never mind, don’t know why I asked that. So, let me see it.”
“What?”
“The text. I’ll tell you if it’s actually bad or just in your head. And if it’s all in your head, you can go cut his hair without having to worry about it.”
I think about it for a split second before reaching in my back pocket and pulling out my phone. I swipe it open and hand it over to her. At this point, I can see that the receptionist has asked Cooper to take a seat in the waiting area and is beginning to walk toward me. Her eyes catch me squatting down on the ground, and I give her a Keep it moving, Melissa gesture. With only a slight falter to her steps, she walks past me toward the break room.
I look back up in time to see Jessie stifle a laugh with the back of her hand while reading my text.
I quietly moan and lean my head back against the cart. “It’s that bad, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah. You might want to just have your mail forwarded to this little corner you’re in from now on.” She hands me back my phone, looking like this is the most amusing thing she’s ever encountered. “It’s even worse seeing him in person. He’s super-hot. Definitely used to smooth women.”
“Ughhh, you’re the worst friend.”
“Technically, I’m your boss.”
“Oh great. Now, I’m doubly embarrassed.”
She laughs and nudges me with her sneaker. “I’m kidding! Okay, look, it’s bad, but it’s not horrendous. There’s a chance he thought it was sweet and endearing.”
“He would have responded.”
“Yeah…but I’m trying to make you feel better because he’s seen me talking to you now and is headed over here.”
“NO!” I say, feeling panic race through my veins. I look left and right for an escape and then up, directly into Cooper’s smirking eyes. I shoot up from the ground like a bottle rocket, pretending to clutch something in my hand and holding it over my head. “Found it! Ha ha! Silly me, Jessie, it just rolled under the cart. Oh, hi, Cooper! How long have you been here?” My voice would match a high C on the piano.
He knows I’m full of crap. He ignores my question and looks cool as a cucumber as he grins and asks, “What’d you lose down there?”
“Huh?” I’m trying to buy some time. Maybe I’ll suddenly find out I’m a magician and can pull something incredible from my back pocket. Like a bunny.
“You said you lost something—just wondering what it was.” He crosses his arms, eyes glinting—challenging.
“Oh you kno
w…just a…flafflehem.” I say that last word while coughing into the crook of my arm. “So anyway! You here for a haircut?”
Out of nowhere, the other stylists materialize beside Cooper. Their eyes are extra wide and blinky, and they’re puffing their boobs out so far I’m afraid one is going to bounce into my face. “You were just getting ready to head out, though, right, Lucy? I’d be happy to take him for you if you want?”
Oh really, Tiffany, would you be happy to take him for me?