“Evie.” His voice is deep and means business. If my heart rate wasn’t already high from nervousness, it would be elevated for a whole different reason. “I want to. Please let me come over.”
Honestly, I’m contemplating saying no. I’m nervous. What if he gets here in time to see the episode? I’ve never filmed myself, so I don’t know what I look like during a seizure, but I’ve seen it reenacted by mean boys enough times to get a pretty good idea.
Jake has seen Sam’s seizures, so it won’t be totally foreign to him, but what if seeing me this way changes the way I look to him? I might be less attractive. Or he’ll realize that I’ll just be more of a burden in his life.
You might be thinking I’m overreacting here. I’m not. These fears have all evolved out of past experiences.
The truth is, Tyler Murray and I dated from freshman to junior year of high school. And remember those jocks that made fun of me for the way I convulsed during a seizure in class? Yeah, Tyler was one of them. Actually, first, he broke up with me, and then he made fun of me with his buddies.
I never told my parents about that day (and the weeks he spent reenacting my seizures in the hallway when I’d pass by) because I was too embarrassed—ashamed over something I couldn’t control.
Later, when Tyler and I graduated, and before he moved away, he tried to get back together with me (most likely because his parents were beginning to convince him of the merit of marrying a Jones by that point), and when I turned him down because of how he treated me our junior year, he said the teasing was all good-natured fun and he didn’t mean any harm by it.
It didn’t feel good-natured to me. And to this day, he’s never actually apologized for what he did.
Point is, it’s stuck with me all this time, and I’m legitimately afraid that if Jake comes over and sees me like that, it will put an end to our relationship before it ever gets going. But then, I remember my own advice to Sam. “If you think that these girls will be mean to you if you have a seizure, don’t go—they’re not worth your friendship.”
Jake is worth it.
I’m just about to tell him to come over when I hear Jake’s keys jingle and he says, “Like it or not, I’m on my way.”
I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. I guess that’s that then. I put my arm over Charlie and wait.
I had a seizure; I know that much. Everything feels a little foggy, and my arms and legs are heavy. I’m coming out of the seizure, and everything feels like a dream where life is a blurry haze. I don’t know how long ago I had it, but I know that I’m in the postictal phase and that I probably won’t feel like myself again for a while. All I want to do is sleep.
Suddenly, I hear a voice. “Are we all clear, Charlie?” And I realize it’s Jake. I peek open my eyelids, but they feel so heavy. The nausea is pretty intense too, so I shut them again. “That was a good boy,” I hear Jake say, and I picture him petting Charlie’s head.
The next thing I know, I feel a warmth over the side of my body, and Jake’s voice is close. “You’re okay, Evie. I’m here, and you’re safe. I’m going to move you up onto your bed so you can rest, okay?”
I nod slowly because, really, that’s all I feel like I can do yet. And then I feel Jake’s hands slide under my body and he cradles me close to his chest. He’s warm, and I wish I could stay in his arms forever. He’s like a heating pad but even better because I don’t have to plug him in to the wall.
Jake lays me down gently on my bed and pulls my comforter up over me. I feel the weight of the bed shift, and although my arms feel like they weigh a million pounds, I reach out and find his hand. “Stay with me,” I say quietly.
I don’t open my eyes because sleep is so alluring right now. But then I feel the bed sink beside me and Jake’s glorious warmth engulf me. He smells like his cologne today. It’s a clean, masculine fragrance that I hope never washes out of my linens. His big arm wraps around my torso and pulls me up close to him. I feel tiny and safe in his arms. He brushes a stray hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear before I feel him place a soft kiss on my temple.
I don’t know how long he’s been here. I don’t know if he saw the seizure. But I do know that he’s lying beside me right now and tenderly caring for me. He’s not running for the hills.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
JAKE
Evie is asleep in my arms, and I’m very aware of the feeling of never wanting to let her go. I got here on the tail end of her seizure and in enough time to see her body jolting with movement. My heart broke for her. Charlie did his job perfectly, but now that it’s over, I’m stepping in and holding her as close as she’ll let me for as long as she’ll let me.
Yeah, I’m doing great with this whole taking-it-slow thing. Completely casual. No strings attached. Just call me Casual Friday because I am so chill about our relationship it’s ridiculous. In no way am I stroking her long blonde hair away from her face and contemplating proposing here and now. She smells so good, too. Her soft feminine curves are curled up against me, and I can feel my heart splitting open. I have a feeling I’ll be handing it to her on a silver platter before long.
When she told me she was about to have a seizure, it was like the world stopped spinning and all that mattered was getting to Evie as quick as possible. It’s the same way I feel about Sam. Well, not the exact way. The same protectiveness. The same worry. But definitely not the same affection. I don’t think I need to describe to you all the ways that it differs.
Evie makes a little groaning sound in her sleep, and I wonder if she has a migraine. Sam always gets a migraine after her seizures. But I see a water bottle with fresh condensation dripping down the side and a bottle of headache medicine on the bedside table. I know from talking to Evie and learning about all the ways she trained Charlie to aid her that he was the one to fetch her those necessities.
Has she taken the meds yet? I’ll ask her when she’s more coherent.
Charlie hears the groan and comes to stand beside the bed on Evie’s side. He rests his head on the mattress and slices those big brown eyes up at me. I’m pretty sure he’s telling me, “You’re in my spot.” I get it. I’d be possessive too if I got to share Evie’s bed on a daily basis. It’s way too small, though. My feet are hanging off the bottom. She needs a king-sized bed like mine. Or maybe just mine…
What if I just packed up all of her stuff and moved her into my house? Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well? Yeah, I changed my mind on the whole no-serious-relationship thing, and we’re married now, and you have to live with me forever.
As gently as possible, I shift Evie and myself over to the far side of the bed. She’s totally out because she doesn’t even stir the slightest bit. I give Charlie a nod, and he gets it right away. He jumps up on the bed and snuggles up under Evie’s arm and stomach. Suddenly, we are a family, and I wish Sam was here, too.
What is that? Why am I feeling this way? I’m out of my mind scared that I’m about to get my heart crushed by this woman. I can’t hide away forever, though, right? Sooner or later, I’ve got to give in and risk heartbreak. Evie feels worth that risk. And she hasn’t given me a reason to not trust her so far.