“So you think being mouthy will get you equal billing.”
“No one else loves me, you know. Severin is all I have, and the idea that he’ll love you more because you’re stronger and more interesting scares the hell out of me. I’m all in with him. If he stops thinking I’m important –” Her voice cracked.
Rodrigo opened his arms and she slunk to him, burying her face against his shoulder. Across the forge Severin had frozen – a colossal, filthy statue. Although his expression was unreadable, his eyes were filled with panic.
Fuck. It had only been a few days, and Rodrigo felt as if he was already screwing up their relationship. The horrid guilt that came with that thought ate at him. As lonely as Severin was, Minnow carried her own abandonment issues, even though the betrayal had happened later in life. He’d finally gotten what he wanted in life, but would the truest expression of his love for them be to back out now, before he caused irreparable damage?
The problem was, that until he saw evidence that he was honestly harming things, he couldn’t give him up. Or her. The feel of her in his arms was a guilty pleasure he shouldn’t have been enjoying so much. Such a small bundle crying against his shoulder.
Severin’s body was stiff with tension. He paced the length of the forge doing busy work that seemed pointless, and Rodrigo could almost feel his overwhelming urge to bolt from the space and get away from them. Maybe he should have handed her back to Severin, but right that moment, he felt it was important for her to learn to seek him out too, when she was upset. She did that by phone usually, or over a cup of coffee when Severin was occupied, but this non-sexual physical contact broke one of their unspoken rules with each other. It was time to let this happen, if things were going to work. He wasn’t content with being stunt cock anymore. He wanted love, and from them both. If he was lucky, it would happen. Eventually.
Tentatively, Severin approached. Would he take her away?
Instead, Sev reached out and stroked her hair. “I’m not going to lose interest in you, Minnow, and you know damned well I’m not the only person who loves you anymore. Rodrigo has been in love with you almost as long as I have – he’s just been holding himself back for my sake. My family loves you more than they love me. I’m sure Rodrigo’s will too. You’ll be way more popular over there than I am.”
He gave a half-hearted chuckle that filled Rodrigo with shame. His family was so open and welcoming with everyone, but their protectiveness for Rodrigo had worked against Severin’s favor. He wasn’t sure if they’d ever change their minds.
She leaned into Severin’s stroking, but didn’t let go of Rodrigo. Maybe the three of them could fit together like puzzle pieces. Hopefully they were pieces from the same puzzle.
Chapter Four
Body sated, Severin should have been asleep, but after waking at three he hadn’t been able to drift off again. He sat in the chair by the fireplace, watching them sleep.
Minnow shifted, her body seeking backward for his own. When she didn’t find him she moved toward Rodrigo and burrowed against his back.
Despite their ongoing power struggle, their sexual compatibility and affection for each other was undeniable. Why the girl had thought Ro would let her get the upper hand was beyond him, but amusing nonetheless.
It was ridiculous that she thought either of them could ever get bored of her, let alone get her out of their system.
The tangle of white sheets barely covered the two of them. Their bodies – soft against hard, pale against tan. Who needed sleep when he could watch them all night? Together, they looked like a magazine ad for something expensive – both unbearably beautiful, and yet they were his.
Not that he’d claimed Rodrigo past what he’d done in the alley.
They’d shared Minnow again a few times, with Ro no longer trying to conceal lust filled glances at either of them, but that was the extent of things so far. It was hard to know how to move forward with that. What if he didn’t get over his hang-ups and let things happen with Rodrigo? Would Ro lose patience with him?
He’d always been attracted to Rodrigo. The first time Church had brought him by, Severin had found himself checking the guy out again and again, while trying to get rid of him by being his usual prickish self. He’d kept coming by anyway, and gradually he’d become his friend, but the attraction had never really gone away.
The idea of doing sexual things with a man, though, had freaked him out even more than the idea of a woman touching him. He questioned whether he was bisexual or he’d just been trained to think of men in terms of sex. The idea of being with a man brought back feelings of being small and powerless. Being touched still brought with it a specter of shame that he could rationalize through with Minnow, but what if it was worse with Rodrigo? For some reason he didn’t seem like a threat when he was in the same room and naked, but Severin wasn’t sure if he could tolerate his touch if there were no clothing to shield him. What if he could never tolerate sexual contact with him? Ro deserved more.
The two of them curled in bed together were so perfect. He’d expected jealousy, but there was comfort in knowing they’d meet each other’s needs when he was too fucked up to do it. The situation now felt very full, though. Busy.
With three humans and four canines breathing the same air, the room sometimes felt too crowded. It was hard to get used to his life being noisy and sometimes chaotic instead of silent outside the forge.
The faint strains of piano music drifted up through the stairwell. Vague memories of lessons he’d hated accompanied the sound. Of having his knuckles rapped. Of his fingers seeming impossibly small for the task the piano instructor had set for him.
Like everything else Loïc did, his playing was perfection. No hesitation or missed notes. He was exactly what their mother had apparently wanted in a son. Perfect. Useful. Polite, glib, entertaining – everything Severin wasn’t.
Even though they’d been raised apart they had many similarities. It was like meeting a complete stranger he automatically just...knew.
Despite his brother’s debonair mien and neat handedness –
despite his attention to detail and fashion, and his ability to become the focal point of any gathering – in small ways being with him was like rubbing elbows with a mirror. Habits, turns of phrase, and even their laughs were the same. Their taste in coffee and books.
And, unfortunately, their taste in lovers.
Severin saw how Loïc coveted what was his. It set him on edge, knowing that his brother would be a better choice for Minnow, and that Rodrigo deserved so much more than Severin could give him. Ro been so patient with him over the years. Respectful. Willing to let their friendship remain a friendship if that was all Severin wanted. Now that he’d finally acknowledged his feelings for Rodrigo, more or less, the idea that he might lose him to his own brother made him wary.
Both Minnow and Rodrigo would be idiots for not choosing Loïc.