Chapter 2
Night brought a welcome coolness to the desert as their car prowled the exclusive, nouveau-riche neighborhood. The trip home after Fox’s stag party had accidentally turned into a recon outing. Luke shouldn’t have been surprised. They’d been stealing cars so long that they were always either on a job or looking for new opportunities.
“What I don’t understand,” Atlas grumbled, “is how the two of us are sober.”
Luke glanced over at his cousin and chuckled at his sour expression.
“Well, I was supposed to be the designated driver, and you were supposed to get drunk with Fox. One of us fucked up.”
“I was planning on drinking, but by the time I was ready to start, he’d managed to convince Addison to meet up with us.” Atlas sighed. “We probably should have explained to him that inviting your bride-to-be to your bachelor party is a major faux pas.”
Luke shrugged. It wasn’t as though any of them lived by society’s rules, so expecting Fox to ditch his wild fiancée for his bachelor party had been asking a little much. Watching the two of them go shot for shot had been funny as hell—they were both so damn competitive—but getting the bachelor party kicked out of three bars before Atlas had finally driven their sorry drunk asses home was fucking hilarious. Addison was the perfect addition to their family. There was no question why Fox was crazy about her.
Then there was their sex life. Fox had never been one to throw out gory details, but living in the same house meant Luke and Atlas often had to crank the volume on the TV when the two of them took off to their bedroom downstairs.
If Luke and Atlas were lucky enough to find girls like her, it would be a miracle.
“You’re lost, fuckerrr,” Jimmy slurred from the backseat. “This is not the way to my house.” He frowned at the parade of estates that flashed past. “How much money do you think the garage makes me?”
Luke turned in his seat to keep an eye on the denizens of their backseat. They were both completely hammered, and had been hilarious since about 9 p.m.. He had plastic bags in case one of them started puking, but they’d been feeding Carlos coffee and driving around for about an hour, hoping they wouldn’t have to dump him off at home in this condition.
“I bet . . .” Carlos said, a rolling chuckle interrupting his thought. “I bet this is a fucking job, man. They’re turning us into fucking car thieves.” He leaned closer to the window until his forehead bumped the glass. “Oh shit. If I start stealing cars, my wife is going to kick my ass.”
“Your pregnant wife!” Jimmy crowed, smacking his buddy in the shoulder. “You knocked her up! Your life is o-ver! No more poker nights—no more naughty librarian s
ex. You’re fucking done for. You should just take up shuffleboard now, because you’re going to start wearing cardigans and driving a minivan.”
Carlos turned to look at him, narrowing his eyes and swaying in his seat. “A minivan is about function, you fucking doorknob. When you have a baby, you need a lot of stuff. Like a stroller, and a car seat, and . . . and tits! Fuck. Julia had awesome tits before, but have you seen them lately? They’re fucking huge!”
“If you stuck your face in there, she might suffocate you.” Jimmy got the giggles. “Be careful. Bring a fucking snorkel.”
“You’re my best friend, Jimmy. You’re like a brother to me. But if you ever try to snorkel her tits, I’ll kick your ass.”
Now they were both howling with laughter, leaning on each other.
“I give up,” Atlas muttered. “We need to bring them home, but I think they’re immune to coffee. If Julia kills us, so be it.”
“No, no!” Carlos protested. “This is my last big night to do crazy shit. I’m going to be a daddy any day now, then I have to settle my ass down and be a family man.”
“Dead man walking!” Jimmy shouted, making Atlas wince.
“Well, you’re shitfaced and you’re probably going to pass out before we get you home,” Luke said. “So what do you have in mind?”
Atlas leaned back in his seat and shrugged. “Yeah, where do you want to go? Fox and Addison already got us kicked out of pretty much everywhere except Fitte, but that place was too much for you anyway.”
Carlos shook his head. “You guys are into some crazy shit. Me and Julia like to mess around, but that place was too fucking creepy for me. Did you see that girl getting whipped?” He whistled, like he still wasn’t over it. “That was a real whip. The guy showed it to me. He wasn’t fucking around.”
Jimmy grimaced and shuddered. “I was glad when it was time to leave. Girls in little plastic skirts are one thing, but I’m way too vanilla for that place.”
The BDSM club their metalhead tattooist friends owned had been pretty shocking to their poker buddies, no matter how often they joked about kink.
“You know what we need to do? You have to give me one night as a car thief,” Carlos said slowly. “Just one night to see what life would have been like.”
“You’re too drunk to drive, let alone steal anything,” Atlas objected.
“Fuck that!” Carlos burst into laughter. “I’m too drunk to fucking walk. Shit. I can’t see!”
Jimmy leaned toward his head mechanic and poked him in the cheekbone. “Open your eyes, idiot.”